Though Madison is full of odd sights and peculiar people, the posters hanging all around the city never really get the credit they deserve. From fedoras to bands trying way to hard too be artsy, these characters add color to an already colorful city.
Is that his name? We’re honestly not sure. He must be distantly related to Prince because his “name” (using that term way too loosely here) is half-symbol. What we are sure of is that he was the only person who actually listened to Beck’s new album, because his look is obviously modeled after the album cover.
9.) These 4 Dudes:
The best part of this poster is obviously the blue headphone guy. Just sitting on the left thinking, “Goddammit Darren! I called dibs on the orange ones!”
8.) New Tuba Daddy:
If it wasn’t for the pedophilic intensity in his eyes, we would say that this man is scared to death of his own instrument (the tuba, that is. He’s obviously an expert with his other instrument.) The way he is holding his tuba can only be described as the same style used by first-time dads when encountering a stinky diaper. The only explanation is that the tuba must have shit itself during naptime.
7.) The King Khan Twins:
Enter famous lovechildren. That’s right—Regina George and Nacho Libre had twins. “That was the worst effing show I’ve ever seen.”
This poster proves there is never a bad time to talk about female rights! Note the Ms. Pacman style bow on the dinosaur’s head, clearly showing that this is a female dinosaur that loves gender equality and just wants everyone to hop on board with her… AS THEY SHOULD! Like C’MONNN, C’MONNN!! It’s 2015 for Little Foot’s sake. (Similar posters of the Nike swoosh with a bow have also been seen around campus). Female Rights: Just do it. Also, this lovely dinosaur will throw-up all over you, if you refuse.
5.) A Star Wars One-Man Show:
First, no one-man show is ever entertaining—just ask tuba guy who puts on one-hand shows nightly. Second, let’s take a trilogy with a million characters all of different species played by the same person. Finally, Spin calls it, “Funnier than you could possibly imagine.” However, The Black Sheep is occasionally hilarious and we cannot imagine this being funny at all. But, when you set the bar that low the only place to go is up—or down to hell. This show is probably hell.
You know, that festival that’s the same day as Mifflin? Anyway, there are concert posters all over campus, and the best thing about Revelry this year is that they decided to go with a Tetris theme. We’ve heard that block costumes are not required, but are encouraged. Also, only German techno artists will be in attendance such as Chance the Robo-rapper, and the Tron-Smokers. The question now really becomes do you want to listen to “Sandstorm” all day or get stabbed? It’s a tough call.
3.) Over Your Friend:
Sex? Is it about sex? With your friends? All the pictures of body parts in strange positions lead us to believe this is some sort of Kamasutra lecture. We don’t know what The Wet Archive is, but we’re glad it’s closing (possibly slang for when a prostitute retires).
2.) Live Inside Me:
We’re honestly impressed—parasites were not the first thing on our minds after reading “live inside me.” Sex was, and then parasites (from said sexual partner) that you found using a paper ad. Good for you! Keeping us on our toes, and not succumbing to Tinder like a “normal” person.
1.) Badger Eyes 3x:
Did you know that UW campus is three times safer than any other school? It’s because we have three times as many Badger eyes on the neighborhood watch. It says so right on this sign… THREE TIMES! You can also rest assured knowing that all of the Cheba Hut employees are constantly on guard for your safety. Relax, because they are the most vigilant and reliable— and definitely not flaky or paranoid— group on campus. Feel safe at night surrounded by stoners because their impaired motor skills make them great at fighting and more likely to call the police in need of an emergency.