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Top 10 Things You Could’ve Spent Your GVSU Tuition On

 

So you’re in college and you’re in debt up to your nose. You begin to wonder: “What could have I spent all of this money on instead of a college degree?” Because no degrees are equal and some are going to get paid less than others (we’re looking at you liberal arts people), we wanted to see if it was actually worth it to go to college!

 

Here are the estimated costs used to calculate the total cost of going to college:

  • $11,078 tuition
  • $8,360 housing and food
  • $700 Books/school shit
  • $380 transportation
  • $470 misc. (vibrators?)
  • Total: $20,988 each year for four years (or six if you’re stupid or in engineering, which is pretty much the same thing)
  • Grand Total: $83,952

 

Let’s see what this could have purchased…

 

10.) 1,652 Cases of Adult Diapers:

They’ll come in handy for when you shit yourself during your final….that you won’t have to go to anymore. Yay! 

 

Nudenuns

 

9.) 186 Round-Trip Tickets:

Use them to get the fuck out of Grand Rapids to somewhere where your balls don’t shrivel up inside you just by walking outside.

 

plan ticket

 

8.) 113 Shares of Google Stock:

Maybe you’ll even make $10 off of interest!

 

google stock

 

7.) 6,159 Packs of Three Vaseline Jars:

To do with what you wish. Or you could just pre-lube yourself for when you get fucked by the cost of parking on campus.

 

vaselne

 

6.) 17,674 DVDs of Your Favorite Kevin James Movie:

We know you just couldn’t get enough of the wacky, cult movie Paul Blart Mall Cop.

 

paul blart

 

5.) 8846 Months of Runescape Membership:

You could be pk-ing for years with the amount of membership you would receive instead of your tuition bill.

 

runescape

 

4.) 38,753 Boxes:

Imagine the boss-ass fort you could have made in the Arboretum with all the boxes you purchased!

 

boxes

 

3.) 3,904 Ties:

 Never again will you go to a themed, costume party and be without a cool costume. Plus, this one makes it so you AND your friend can look super dope.

 

tie

 

2.) 6,283 Wills to Live:

Hey, you’re not in college and working a dead-end job so you might need some help in searching for a will to live still! And shockingly (or maybe not) you can get them on Amazon.

 

will to live

 

1.) 52,144 Yu-Gi-Oh! Cards:

This is the first thing that came up when Yu-Gi-Oh! was searched so it must be good. Hopefully it’s a good card because now you have 52,144 of them!

 

yugioh

 

Whatever it is you used your money on, it sure as hell would be a lot cooler than a college education! So go ahead, purchase all the Yu-Gi-Oh! cards and adult diapers that your loans will allow for because you only live once, right?

 

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