10.) Spread the red: Wear as much ISU gear as you can possibly put on to your body at one time. Make it a challenge! Have four Fear the Bird shirts? Great! One for each appendage. Two pairs of Redbird socks? Now you can keep your feet and your hands warm!
9.) Go to homecoming events: We’re not asking you to get involved or even really give a shit, but we promise you won’t regret going to the game, the parade, or even the Town and Gown 5K. The administration organizes these events for us, you might as well show up.
8.) Paint the town red: Paint the sidewalk. Paint your apartment building. Paint yourself. Paint EVERYTHING! Out of red paint? Just use the blood of your enemies! Bradley people bleed, right? In the name of school spirit, literally paint the town red. We’re sure they won’t mind.
7.) Go to the football game: Uh, who are we playing, again? Personally, we couldn’t care less about who wins or loses, but the people-watching possibilities here are endless. Is your COM110 teacher drunk three rows in front of you? Your roommate’s mom attempting to flash a group of freshmen? A band member throwing up in a tuba? Anything is possible at the game and, with some luck, maybe you could witness all of these.
6.) Drink with alumni: Everyone knows alumni are still college kids at heart. What’s better than getting trashed with a bunch of seasoned Redbirds? They’ll be sure to share not only their wisdom, but also their alcohol, and what could be better than that?
5.) Have/wear a mustache: Redbird head coach, Brock Spack, needs all the support we can give during homecoming. Represent him, his pornstache, and Orange is the New Black while you’re at it by sporting the ‘stache. If you are unable to grow one yourself, a fake stick-on ‘stache from a party store will do nicely.
4.) Sleep with Reggie: Show some love for your school by lovin’ on your mascot. Plus, we’ve always wanted to know who’s inside that sexy bird suit. Go ahead, ruffle some feathers. Yeah, get him right in the cloaca.
3.) Drink with Dietzy: What better way to get to know our new prez by throwing back a few brewskis? We can think of nothing else.
2.) Tailgate: Getting drunk in a parking lot with your friends, family, and roommates, eating hot dogs, shit-talking the other team and playing beer pong? Tailgating is why football exists, people, you do not want to miss out.
1.) Be drunk all day… or all week: You know the Saturday homecoming routine: wake up at 7, drink 4 Bloody Marys and a couple mimosas, go the parade, drink more, take a power nap, go to the tailgate, drink even more, go to the game, end up downtown, and forget it all the next day. That’s the kind of stuff we want to see all week, Redbirds. The Black Sheep is counting on you.