It’s more than just fall for some people. For fraternities, it’s pledge season. It’s a unique time of the semester where frat newbies are forced to wear the blue blazer and khaki uniform despite torrential rain or blazing heat. In honor of this season, we decided to discuss the five frat guy archetypes the pledges are likely to blossom into. And in the spirit of inclusiveness, let’s also talk about the five types of sorority girls in college.
5.) The Frat Douche:
While saying some frat guys are dicks isn’t exactly breaking news, we’ll still discuss this classic stereotype. Most of the frat guys you meet will fit this mold. This is the guy who has no problems that daddy’s money can’t fix. He’s got an entitlement complex comparable to Donald Trump’s, and he’ll most likely correct you if you say the word “frat.” It’s fraternity. You wouldn’t call your country a cunt.” Yeah, no shit you wouldn’t. It’s not even grammatically correct. But what would this guy know about grammar? Find this guy pounding rails at TOTS with way too many buttons of his Tattersall shirt undone. Avoid him at all costs unless you want your IQ to take a hit while talking to him.
4.) The Frat Guy Who Really Loves His Frat:
This guy is the Basic Bro of frat guys. He’ll be the one shotgunning Natty’s while chanting and he’s always down for beer pong. All of his clothing is plastered with the frat’s letters. He’s the guy who always has his bros’ backs. And any time you talk to him he mentions how being in a frat is all about brotherhood. Yeah, we get it – you love your bros. Too bad you don’t love them enough to not treat them like shit when they’re pledging. Catch this guy playing for his frat’s intramural team or coming up with new themes for upcoming frat parties.
3.) The Frat Guy Who Insists Fraternities Are All About Philanthropy:
This is the guy who tells everyone how his fraternity is more than beer, sports, and sex. It’s how he convinced his parents to pay the fraternity fees. Unfortunately, we’re not buying it. You can go on and on about how being in a fraternity is a chance to help the community. We all know you’re trying to compensate for the fact that you spent hundreds of dollars for friends. And hey, we recognize that fraternities do good deeds. But, until you stop using your dues for buying cheap beer, don’t pretend you’re all about giving back. Find him doing something for the community for a few hours on a Saturday and then bragging about it downtown that night.
2.) The Guy Who You Can’t Believe Is In A Frat:
When this guy mentions he’s in a fraternity, you’re like, “how?” He’s the complete opposite of the douche frat guy. He can have a conversation with you about something other than his frat. He joined for the simple reason that he thought it’d be fun. He’s the chilliest frat bro you’ll ever meet. This guy has the power to change your opinions on frat guys. Good luck finding him.
1.) The Bat Shit Crazy One:
Arguably the best and worst frat stereotype there is. Spend a night with him and either you’ll end up in jail or you’ll have the best night of your life. If he starts out any sentence with, “wanna watch me finish this handle?” you’ve found him. Proceed with caution.
If the butt-hurt frat guys made it down this far, maybe you’ll get a laugh out of these sorority stereotypes.
5.) The Basic Bitch:
The basic bitch is the girl who’s obsessed with her sorority. She’s always wearing her oversized soft t-shirt with the embroidered frocket, leggings that show off the hour she spends at McComas everyday, riding boots, and an infinity scarf. Everything from her Mac laptop stickers to her tumbler has either her sorority’s letters or her initials. Don’t bother asking her about homework assignments because she’s either liking her sister’s Instagram pics or online shopping. This fall, find the basic bitch at the pumpkin patch taking pictures with her little.
4.) The Airhead:
This is rare to find at Virginia Tech, but she’s out there. This is the girl that gives other sorority girls a bad rep. She uses more “likes” in a sentence than she does words. When you meet her you wonder if the GPA requirement is actually taken seriously. In her case, probably not. Catch this girl getting way too smashed at a party and starting arguments about currents events that she knows nothing about.
3.) The One Who Talks Shit About Her Sisters:
You wonder why this girl is even in a sorority because all she does is shit-talk everyone else. The reason is she just loves drama. Don’t trust her with your secrets because she’ll spill them faster than a watery Starbucks Frapp. Find this girl sipping Jamba Juice and chatting loudly about how her sister is a total slut for hooking up with that one frat guy.
2.) The Nice One:
This girl doesn’t have that perpetual “I’m judging you” look that most sorority girls have. In fact, you almost want to join her sorority because she makes it seem like such a good time. Part of you wants to hate her because she’s so pretty and she’s in a sorority, but you can’t. She’s just too nice. Catch her being some frat’s sweetheart because that’s what she is: a sweetheart.
1.) The Secret GDI:
When you ask this girl about her sorority she won’t gush and tell you how great it is. It’s not that she hates her sisters like #3 or her sorority, she just doesn’t care about bigs, littles, mixers, and date parties. She’ll show up to mandatory events and probably try to enjoy herself, but she won’t really be into it. Catch her skipping out on chapter to watch Grey’s Anatomy and do homework.
Despite all the shit fraternities and sororities get, we can’t deny that having them around makes college more interesting and more fun. Whether they’re responsible for some of the greatest college parties you’ve been to or are the butt of the jokes among your friends, you can’t deny that you like having them around.