Sometimes convenience isn’t always the best thing, and when you’ve gotta go and you’re looking for a quick, quiet, peaceful, location to take an uninterrupted dump, you can’t settle for just any regular ol’ bathroom. So it’s best to avoid these bathrooms as best as you can.
5.) The Trabant first floor bathroom:
Chances are if you’re in Trabant at some point you’ll have no choice but to use this filth trap. The location’s great, and for the most part it’s got a nice selection of stalls. What really makes the bathroom terrible is the large amount of traffic. You just can’t shit in peace if you ever go here. Plus it’s always out of toilet paper so you’ll have no choice but to wipe with your hands like a savage.
4.) Perkins Basement Bathroom:
With its semi-secluded location, one would think that this bathroom would be a problem free place to lay your smelly brown brood and be on your way to that one class you hate. In actuality however, this is in fact one of the worst bathrooms on campus. The lack of proper ventilation and dead silence means while you shit not only are the echoes of your farts amplified for the rest of the world to hear, but you solemnly gag on the essence of your own poo.
3.) Amy DuPont First Floor Bathroom:
This bathroom isn’t particularly awful because of it’s uncleanliness or how many times people use it, this bathroom is on this list for being simply depressing. The period red floors and mustard yellow stall walls will remind of those lonely dinners spent at McDonald’s reflecting on how much you let yourself down. Not only that, but the silent hum of the students practicing their instruments will make you feel like you’re in a bad indie movie about toilets.
2.) Kirkbride Second Floor Bathroom:
There is a special place in shitting hell for whoever designed this monstrosity being passed off as a restroom. Seriously, the design is awful; it’s tucked away in an area with low traffic, you access directly from outside, and there are only two available stalls, all of which are probably trashed. Meaning if you do resort to using this restroom, be aware that once you’re done, you’ll probably leave with toilet paper stuck to one of your extremities and everyone on campus will get a good whiff of your fresh shit. Also the door to the outside means anyone walking by can see you in your most vulnerable state.
1.) Perkins First Floor Bathroom:
We saved the best for last, or in this case, the worst for last. Situated in the bustling center of Perkins, this series of unfortunate events that is a bathroom is the least recommended bathroom on this list. Like the basement bathroom from below, this bathroom’s poor circulation will leave your lungs filled with eau de feces for at least an hour following your visit. Sometimes the smell of poop hits so hard that several students are rightfully suing the university for nasal distress.