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University of Delaware Campus Sculpture Reviews: “The Goat Statue”


Title: Nubian Goats (The Goat Statue)

Artist: André Harvey

Medium: Bronze cast

Technique: Lost wax casting


This breathtaking rendering of two goats is located in the scenic area between Alison Hall and the Caesar Rodney Dining Hall. The spot is somewhat secluded, compelling those who wish to lay their eyes upon the sculpture to step off of the red brick path and fight their way through foliage and litter for an up-close look. Most self-proclaimed art lovers fail to recognize the sexy beauty of this piece, let alone go out of their way to even view it from an intimately close distance, so close you could gently kiss their noses. We can tell that the artist really thought out the placement of his masterpiece, because it makes you feel just like a goat when you walk through mud and dirt and leaves.


Not only does the sunlight glinting off of this magnificent work of art remind us that there really is such a thing as true beauty in the world, but the goats are voluptuous and zaftig too. Their plump little stomachs are a metaphor for the freshman fifteen. The goats’ faces both appear to be serene and happy, signifying the carefree lifestyle that comes from not having to follow rules anymore; while the bulging bellies of the animals indicate that letting yourself go a little bit is just a normal thing that happens when you have the midnight munchies on a daily basis. These fat bellies also are meant to turn students on as they walk by. They’re so fat and sexy, just begging you to crawl over and lick them up and down.


The subjects both have little bells hanging around their necks too, both subtle and incredibly erotic. These little bells are pretty awesome because they represent loud noises. These loud noises can be connected to the loud noises that we hear on a college campus like the University of Delaware. For example, the lie that is the fake electronic bells ringing from memorial hall at high noon every day, or the screams of students contemplating their futures in unrelenting panic is to UD as these bells are to the “Nubian Goats.” They represent the pain, the cacophony, the blasts, and the shrieks of me pleasuring myself besides the goats under a full moon.


The soft curves and realistic gleam of the coats of each subject are a testament to Harvey’s craftsmanship as a sculptor. Oh how I long for the gentle feel of the bronze against my skin, how I wish I could spend the night rubbing up against them instead of binging on Ben &Jerry’s and watching fourteen uninterrupted hours of Gossip Girl like I usually do. I’m going to fuck the goats.


“Nubian Goats” truly succeeds in capturing the essence of student life here at the University of Delaware. Its strong metaphorical symbols, craftsmanship, and sexy, sexy undertones compliment each other in perfect harmony, producing an almost holy experience for the viewer. So strong and moving is this work of art, that one might even consider its viewing a religious experience. Tonight, I am going to sacrifice myself to the goats. I will have sex with each goat first, and then sacrifice myself in front of them. Right there.

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