In the midst of rewatching Season 4 of New Girl for the sixth time, junior history major Jan Boswell discovered something shocking.
“I used to really like New Girl, and this season was pretty good,” Boswell noted. “Schmidt’s relationship with Fawn Moscato was really fun to watch, and it was great to see Coach’s character really develop. But, in the middle of it, during the Bangsgiving episode, I realized that I ceased to have any feelings regarding the show at all. It no longer gives me any delight, anger, excitement, or… anything. It’s as neutral a sensation as watching paint dry, except this paint has catchphrases, like ‘shame, shame, I know your name.’”
After investigation, The Black Sheep discovered that this was no isolated incident.
“Yeah, I don’t think I’ve genuinely enjoyed anything I’ve seen since the third episode of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt,” sophomore sociology major Annie Garcia agreed. “It wasn’t even Kimmy’s fault, I just had an essay to write, so whoosh went the season, and then whoosh went Bob’s Burgers all the way through, and then whoosh went Kimmy again. I think I enjoyed it all, but ‘enjoy’ is too strong an emotion for me to say that I feel right now.”
Even freshmen are losing their taste for all that Netflix has to offer. In an impromptu poll conducted in the Kerr Hall lobby around 10 p.m.. 15% of respondents said that they have laughed at a joke in a show in the past month, 35% said that they felt something approaching mirth but could not muster up the energy to physically laugh, and 50% said that in another life, they could have experienced what they once called “joy,” but in this life, it is a feeling insofar as they can feel its absence, like gazing into a vast and bottomless hole. Freshman Vince Jackson helped shed some light on the results.
“Well, I remember I really enjoyed It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia at the beginning of last semester,” Vince recalled. “I’d watch it with my friends all the time. But second semester, I started some of my major specific classes, and things got pretty heavy. So, now I just watch Sunny instead of the steadily growing pile of papers on my desk.”
At press time, the respondents to our questions replied “eh” to both questions of how classes were going and what they had watched recently.