“This whole thing happened just this morning, I am still kind of in shock myself. I really am better than everyone who surrounds me.” Bartholomew Snowglobe isn’t just your average super senior. While some college students are obsessed with sex, drugs, and avoiding gluten, Snowglobe decided a few years ago to focus on something of much more importance.
That’s right, vaping. We’re all familiar with the small cylindrical metallic devices that are in the hands of the few among us brave enough to challenge the status quo. In an exclusive interview with The Black Sheep, we sat down with Mr. Snowglobe and discussed vaping in great detail.
“I pride myself on being one of the first to ever vape,” says Snowglobe. “I was sitting in my home when all of a sudden I heard a voice in my head that sounded kind of like if Gandhi and Bernie Sanders combined. It told me to get in my car and go to the nearest nearly empty shopping center. It was there that I saw a new store that had just opened entitled ‘Snape’s Vapes,’ which was run by a man who looked oddly similar to Alan Rickman. And since that day, I’ve been hooked.”
These are the humble beginnings for a vaper. Snowglobe says that not much has changed since that fateful day where he began his hobby, until a few days ago when he found himself walking amongst a mob after class. “I was walking and vaping, as I usually do, and then it hit me like a ton of vape juice. I started looking at all these poor souls walking around me, and I realized that I was superior to them. Like without question they were just lesser because they weren’t vaping. I don’t mean any offense by that, but it’s just the way it is and I feel like I have a responsibility to get this message out there to all those who are lesser.”
Snowglobe went on to describe a society in which we all vape at every moment and we are all equal. Until that day comes, Snowglobe declares that he will continue to view himself as superior. “As long as there is vape juice in my e-cig, I will be better than those who do not.” It’s a simple message, but an important one. Snowglobe asked The Black Sheep to include in this article that if you see him walking around campus and you are without an e-cig to not make eye contact out of respect to a superior being.
He also asks that those who do not have an e-cig either transfer schools or buy one immediately. At the conclusion of this interview, Snowglobe took a rather large inhale from his electronic cigarette, and as he exhaled the vapors covered him and when the cloud cleared he was gone. If you wish to contact him, simply take a drag from your vape and click your heels thrice and he will appear. You can also just look for a plume of vapor and he will probably be there too.