Virginia Tech is offering a new parking program for students, faculty, and staff who use alternative transportation to get to campus. That’s right – a parking program for people who don’t drive cars.
The Bike, Bus, & Walk program allows anyone who bikes, walks, or takes a bus to campus to do so for a low, low price of $30. People can now pay money to do something that has always been free.
Those who register for the program do receive fifteen daily parking permits to use throughout the semester. So if you’re someone who takes alternative transportation to campus because you don’t literally own a car on this earth, this program is not for you.
If you have a car in Blacksburg or at home that you’re thinking about maybe bringing to campus at some time (maybe), but don’t use it because parking permits are expensive and Parking Services is terrifying, the Bike, Bus, & Walk program might be useful to you. Use one of your fifteen parking passes on your birthday, a rainy day, or a day you overslept from a night of drinking. For $30 you get fifteen days of convenience and [hopefully] no parking tickets, if, you know, you ever decide to use your car. The Black Sheep wants to know: is it actually worth it?
…No. Absolutely not. Thirty bucks could buy you two handles of cheap liquor, an eighth of shrooms from a generous dealer, or one Virginia Tech t-shirt. Any of those things sounds way more appealing than fifteen days of parking that you may or may not use. But maybe that’s just us.
This seemingly pointless program poses another obvious question: Why? What is the purpose of the Bike, Bus, & Walk program? According to an article by the Collegiate Times, it is “an incentive to reduce the number of times people bring their cars onto campus…reducing traffic jams and the trouble of finding a parking spot.”
Wait, what? So the Bike, Bus, Walk, Crawl, Fly program is actually directed toward people who would otherwise purchase a semester-long parking permit (instead of people who have always used alternative transportation)? Because paying to help other people find parking is better than paying to help yourself find parking. It’s comforting to know that our university uses such unwavering logic.
If we haven’t made it clear yet, the Bike, Bus, & Walk program doesn’t actually make any sense at all. It’s for those who use alternative transportation but it’s for those who have cars? Or it’s incentivizing people who don’t have cars to park their non-existent cars? It’s for everyone but it’s for no one? What’s going on here? Do you even go to this school? Do you just want $30? All we really know is that this is a dumb concept. If Tech wants to change up the parking policies, how about not issuing parking tickets to every car ever? Now there’s a winning idea.