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What You Do While Telling People You HAVE to Study


If there’s one thing students know best, it’s procrastination. We sure do love talking about doing something we need to do to feel like we’re getting even slightly closer to being somewhat productive. Despite the crucial nature of finals, the end of the semester is the time the phrase is most used. Most are finishing the semester off strong by lazily listing into that final stretch.


10.) Go out with friends:
It doesn’t matter what you all are doing. Drinking at the local Flying Saucer or grinding up on somebody at Label on a Friday night. If you’re with friends during finals time, it’s almost guaranteed that at one point or another, the phrase “Oh my god, I have got to study for finals!” is going to come up at some point. To which, said friends will agree, talk about how difficult they’re “totally gonna fail,” and then not end up studying until the day or so before.


9.) Look into other majors:
At this point in time, you have probably realized that you’re beyond screwed for your final. Maybe it’s because you took an intro physics course and realized that engineering isn’t for us weak minded folk. So instead of studying, you may as well forget about that and start looking into other major options. Here’s our guide to give you some ideas on some more layman appropriate classes for spring.


8.) Calculate your chances of passing:
So you’re semester hasn’t been the best in terms of grades. But with a little studying for the final you just might be able to come out with a passing grade in the class. That is if you weren’t too busy requesting extra credit from the professor and calculating what grade will keep you from having to retake that unusually difficult LBST that is (for some reason) required for your major.


7.) Go to Atkins Library:
Notice how the title says just “go” instead of study. You might go to Atkins with full intention to cram for your final, but odds are you’ll probably get way too invested in people watching or end up falling into a trance from the hypnotic ugliness of the new carpets.  


6.) Grab a bite to eat:
You can’t possibly multitask while eating. No, you have to pay attention to be absolutely certain you’re taking moderately sized bites and chewing thoroughly. Studying can wait till after you go back for seconds, thirds and maybe dessert while you’re at it. You have to make sure you’re getting your money’s worth after all. For more procrastination potential, go to crown or SOVI for extended after-dinner shitting.


5.) Make a to-do list:
Having a lot on your plate at one time can be hard to manage at times, but what better way to deal with a busy schedule than making a list… and then not doing an of it! Of course you’ll begin drafting it up with all intention to gradually check each one off, but before you know it, you get all wrapped up into color coding and what not that you end up with an immaculate check list with no check marks.


4.) Take a nap:
Sometimes a good afternoons rest can really rejuvenate you after a long day of not studying. It’s way easier to live with the guilt of being unprepared when you’re unconscious. If you’re lucky, you might just awake with the mysterious power of motivation.


3.) Take out your notes and textbooks:
It’s time to stop playing around. You have to take the next step in getting ready for this exam. So go get all your notes and all your textbooks that you never touched until now and set yourself up a nice workspace to get started. No go take a break. Maybe get a coffee or something. You earned it after all that!


2.) Catch up with your parents:
Your parents probably haven’t heard from you in some time. That being the case, you should probably give them a call. Maybe ask them how they’re doing, what’s the weather like back home, would they still love you if you dropped out of school. You know, normal stuff like that.


1.) Absolutely nothing:
Sometimes it’s not about being distracted. You know you have to study, but you simply don’t want to. Despite there being very little chance of getting anything done, you just sit there, watching the time slip away as the realization of your inevitable failure becomes more and more apparent with every passing second. Every now again you’ll reiterate to yourself the importance of studying right now, but that does little to change your infinite loop of procrastination.


Just remember, you can distract yourself, or drink your sorrows away, or procrastinate as much as you want, but (unfortunately) finals aren’t going anywhere. You got this, fam! If not, at least you’ll get a semester of academic probation!


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