Market Central, everyone’s favorite spot to eat on campus. Just kidding, that’s reserved for a place with actual, delicious food like Pamela’s or Sorrento’s. Nonetheless, we all have a fair share of Market in our lives, and we all have our favorite station. Whether you’re living a stylish vegan lifestyle or just love chicken sandwiches, everyone has a Market station that says a lot about them.
Whether it’s a quick “choose your own adventure” at the sandwich line or a gourmet buffalo chicken hummus Thai slaw biggie sandwich at the pre-made station, basic kneads is for those who just want to keep it quick and simple. Grab a quick sandwich, maybe a bowl of weird soup, and sit at one of the single tables by the toasters. Yeah, you know exactly what we’re talking about. You are a very casual, low key person who enjoys the company of none other than two pieces of bread and some meat.
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What’s on the menu tonight? Crispy veggie patty and undercooked brown rice? Yum. If you eat here, it is almost guaranteed you are either gluten intolerant or really trying to stick to your New Year’s resolution (along with going to the Pete every day with your shaker bottle, of course). Whichever one it is, if you eat at Tutto Fresca, you’re a person who seriously cares about the health and wellbeing of their body. Or, you just really want to fit into that new size zero dress you got for Saturday’s Kappa Sig mixer.
Okay, everyone knows that this is the best station at Market, hands down. The only problem? It takes for-fucking-ever to get your food. If you can stand to wait in line to get this delicious stir fry every time you go to market, you are truly a hero. You exude patience and virtue that many of us do not have in our souls. As the chefs who make these delicious meat and veggie combinations would say, you are “NUMBER ONE!”
Wow, slow down, world traveler! If you eat at Magellan’s on the reg, it is totally clear to the rest of us that you are going places. You dine on the exotic cuisine only a few of us could handle. You have a refined taste, you only crave the fanciful taste of weird noodle bowls or strangely delicious knock-off gyros. You definitely do not belong at Market in the first place, but hey, you make do with what you have.
Flying Star Diner
First of all, who doesn’t like a custom omelette at any hour of the day? This station is just for the rest of us, the average Joes, who go to Market to fulfill not only the emptiness in our stomachs, but also the emptiness in our hearts. What better way to fill this void than with endless amounts of eggs, chicken sandwiches, and french fries? Basically, you have pretty simple taste, and prefer to drown the pain that is college with the best of comfort foods. We concur.
You like maggots in your food. No, we will never, ever let this go. The pizza is pretty good though.
Wherever you end up plopping down in market with the weird fibrous, somewhat edible food, at least you know a little bit more about yourself through the crappy food you try not to taste a Market.