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Michigan
Which Asshole In My 8 A.M. Are You?
Because waking up at 7:45 a.m. four times a week was not enough for this bitch...
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Michigan
Christ: Jim Harbaugh Caught Drinking Milk Right Out Of The Cow’s Udder
ANN ARBOR — Earlier today Michigan head coach, Jim Harbaugh, was found lying on the floor...
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Michigan
Ross Architect Revealed To Be 10-Year-Old With Minecraft Lite On His Mom’s iPad
Recent investigations into whether or not dolphins were harmed in the construction of Ross revealed that...
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Michigan
WiFi Stations In The Diag Actually Open Pits To Hell For Freshmen Who Step On The M
You may have recently noticed that you’re now able to Facebook stalk your ex’s new, blonder...
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Michigan
Professor Emails Freshman Death Certificate After He Replies-All
Carla Martinez, a professor in the Spanish department, sent out a Canvas announcement early Thursday morning...
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Michigan
CAPS Response To Depressed Students On Campus: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Dear students, As the summer ends and the school year begins, the staff at CAPS are...
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Michigan
Girl Sings Lil Dicky’s Freaky Friday In Rick’s Bathroom, Wakes Up In Mark Schlissel’s Body
Senior Emilia Scott woke up mid morning this past Saturday to meet her friends at Sava’s...
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Michigan
Getting Their Priorities Straight: UN Human Rights Council Investigating Shortened Sorority Recruitment As Violation Of Geneva Conventions
ANN ARBOR — The University of Michigan’s Panhellenic Association is under investigation by the United Nations...
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Michigan
Sophomore In Ugli Asks Other Blonde If She Would Sell Her An ID Since They Have The Same Shrek-Shaped Birthmark
Katie Collins, nursing school sophomore, was blasting through her printing allowance on the first floor of...
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Michigan
Unsuspecting Freshman Attempts To Feed North Campus Wildlife, Loses Favorite Masturbating Hand
As told by onlookers, freshman and Bursley dweller, Noah Greco, lost his right hand to a...
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QUIZ: Which University of Michigan Basketball Starter Are You?
Our Wolverines are genuinely surprising us this March, but we ain’t mad about it. We...
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QUIZ: Which University of Michigan Dorm Are You?
Each dorm has it’s very own personality, just like all of us special snowflakes at...
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The 7 Hells of Living in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula
Living in the Upper Peninsula is the dream for some people and a complete nightmare for...
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QUIZ: Is Your Markley Roommate 1,000 Cockroaches in a Trench Coat?
At this point in the semester, you typically think you know your roommate. But, some recent...
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People You Don’t Want Together at 3 A.M. on Snap Maps in Ann Arbor
We all know how incredibly fun Snap Maps can be. Spotting your friend’s Bitmoji dressed in...
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A Judgmental Seating Chart of The Big House
With this Saturday marking everyone’s fourth game day in a row, it’s easy to think...
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Drinking JUUL Pods: Better Than Adderall?
ANN ARBOR — With classes officially over and finals week beginning, reports have surfaced from the...
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If UMich Dining Halls Were Celebrities
You’re at a crossroads, a huge predicament, even a potentially life-changing decision: which dining hall are...
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5 Best Places To Have Sex At Michigan
Wake up, go to class, go to the ref room to study, go to the...
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A Judgmental Map of Ann Arbor, Michigan
Ann Arbor frequently tops lists of the best college towns in the nations. We certainly...
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[VIDEO] Asking What “Business Casual” at the Ross School of Business
We went to the Ross School of Business to ask these future business leaders what...