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Campus Life
All 3 UCSB College Republicans Disappointed Their Gay, Woman Hating Provocateur Prince Can’t Come Rub Off on Them
UC Santa Barbara College Republicans — all three of them — spilled tears of sadness today...
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UC Santa Barbara
7 Things About IV You Probably Forgot About During Break
Some people just can’t remember anything. Partial derivatives, their dog’s birthday, their penis length, nothing. These...
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Booze
New Year, Fat You: What To Expect Now That You’re a UCSB Chubbo
Welcome back to school! And also a big, warm, caloric welcome to those new extra pounds...
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Campus Life
UCSB Netflix: The IV Shows You Can’t Miss This Spring
Because of an excess of profits in the fall of 2016, UCSB will be unveiling...
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UC Santa Barbara
Masturbating During Finals Week: A How-To Guide
As people flock to the library for finals week, many are left without a quiet place...
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UC Santa Barbara
6 Ways UCSB Could Improve Dead Week Without Actually Killing Anyone
Recently we learned that even though it’s called dead week, no one actually dies. While this probably...
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UC Santa Barbara
7 Things to Say to Cute UCSB Boys Walking Across Campus
You don’t know his name, his astrological sign, or anything about him really, but he is...
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UC Santa Barbara
7 Ways to Spice Up Your Crew’s Friendsgiving
A Friendsgiving is a joyous occasion. It’s a way for the girls in your friend group...
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Booze
6 Beer Die Rules to Honor Our Troops
Beer Die is the game of choice for us Gauchos, but whenever you play, do you...
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UC Santa Barbara
The UCSB Basketball Team Ranked by The Sexiness of Their Names
Some names are sexy. Some names are not. As it turns out, there is no better...
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Quiz: Which UCSB Dining Commons Are YOU?
You can tell a whole lot about someone from the Dining Hall they frequent. But are you...
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QUIZ: Which Menial UCSB Campus Job Should You Apply For?
Are you hurting for some beer money? Did you run out of paid studies to take...
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Ranking The UCSB Res Halls Based On RA Hotness
UCSB is well known for how attractive its students are. In fact, a recent study conducted...
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A Definitive Ranking of UCSB Dorms (by Height)
If you have ever wondered which dorm at UCSB is the tallest, or which dorm at...
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The Judgmental Map of San Jose, California
Since San Jose is the third largest city in California (take that, San Francisco!) there are...
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7 Reasons to Be Thankful You Don’t Go to Cal Poly
1000 years ago, on the very first Thanksgiving Day, the pilgrims held a feast with some...
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The 5 Easiest Classes at UCSB to Slurp Your Way to an A
Everyone’s heard the rumors, and unless you’re lame, you’ve had a few friends do it themselves....
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REPORT CARD: Grading the Best Places to Have Sex in Public at UCSB
Thanks to a spirited effort from the Chancellor’s office to put together this handy how-to guide,...
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The Official UCSB Res Hall Ranking by Litness
Students have long debated which of the dorms offers the best accommodations – be it based...
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Ranking UCSB Frats by How Sweaty Their Parties Are
Everybody knows UCSB as a top-tier party school, but how often do we give thanks to...