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UC Santa Barbara
WHY IS WALKING ON UCSB’S CAMPUS SO HARD?
If you’re an avid UCSB campus-walker, then you’ll be fluent in the weird things that...
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Campus Life
Second Debate Hot Take: Clinton is a Piece of Undercooked Pasta And Trump is a Small, Dusty, Nipple Clamp
After watching the presidential town hall debate, I am reminded of something my father used...
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UC Santa Barbara
The Most Interesting Man At UCSB
Jaq Johnsen is in four fraternities. He lives on Trigo but has an ocean view from...
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UC Santa Barbara
Open Letter – F*ck/Marry/Kill: Me, Chancellor Yang, or Interim Co-Dean Mary Betsy Brenner
Look, I didn’t want to ruin lives. That was never my intention. I think an...
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Campus Life
Peni, Sharks, Bumper Cars, and Drunk Artistes: An Ode to Parking in IV
IV is a bustling metropolis in which drivers are forced to find impossible parking. If you’ve...
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Campus Life
An Open Letter to UCSB Freshmen: Yes Living in the Dorms is Awesome But If You Find My Board Shorts I Really Need Them Back
Dear Freshmen, It’s that time of year again. Back to school time. The warm...
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UC Santa Barbara
7 Creative Ways to Use the Gum on the Bottom of Your Seat in Broida Hall
Broida Hall was constructed by ancient peoples in the year 724 BCE. Since then, many...
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Booze
Best Things to Tell Your Parents So They Don’t Think You Were Drunk the Entire Year
UCSB is consistently ranked one of the nation’s top party schools. As a result, your...
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Campus Life
How to Win a Guy in Week Ten On the Quarter System
Week Nine has come and gone, just as weeks One through Holy Shit Finals...
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Campus Life
An Open Letter to Bernie Sanders: Quit Exercising Your White Male Privilege in Santa Barbara
On Saturday morning, Bernie Sanders will be speaking at a rally at SBCC as part...
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Quiz: Which UCSB Dining Commons Are YOU?
You can tell a whole lot about someone from the Dining Hall they frequent. But are you...
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QUIZ: Which Menial UCSB Campus Job Should You Apply For?
Are you hurting for some beer money? Did you run out of paid studies to take...
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7 Reasons to Be Thankful You Don’t Go to Cal Poly
1000 years ago, on the very first Thanksgiving Day, the pilgrims held a feast with some...
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The Official UCSB Res Hall Ranking by Litness
Students have long debated which of the dorms offers the best accommodations – be it based...
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Ranking UCSB Frats by How Sweaty Their Parties Are
Everybody knows UCSB as a top-tier party school, but how often do we give thanks to...
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A Definitive Ranking of UCSB Dorms (by Height)
If you have ever wondered which dorm at UCSB is the tallest, or which dorm at...
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The 5 Easiest Classes at UCSB to Slurp Your Way to an A
Everyone’s heard the rumors, and unless you’re lame, you’ve had a few friends do it themselves....
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UCSB Declares Turf War on Campus Drug Dealers in Anticipation of Lifted California Cannabis Laws
Chancellor Yang has announced that starting the first week of Winter Quarter, new UCPD zoning ordinances...
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The Judgmental Map of San Jose, California
Since San Jose is the third largest city in California (take that, San Francisco!) there are...
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REPORT CARD: Grading the Best Places to Have Sex in Public at UCSB
Thanks to a spirited effort from the Chancellor’s office to put together this handy how-to guide,...