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Campus Life
The 8 Thoughts You Have While Pooping in a UCSB Campus Bathroom
The Great Chancellor Yang forbid a Gaucho ever has to hang a literal ten in...
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Campus Life
Extravaganza 2016: A Recap by Someone Who Was Sober the Entire F**king Time, Goddamnit
As all Gauchos know, this past weekend was Extravaganza. As a significantly smaller number of...
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Campus Life
Most Painfully Lonely Kids Eating in the DLG of All Time
In his hit song “Bubble Toes,” UCSB alum Jack Johnson sings “I was eating lunch...
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UC Santa Barbara
8 Things Only Gauchos Can Be Proud Of
Every year more and more first generation college students are admitted to and attend UCSB....
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Campus Life
Skunks vs. Raccoons: The Battle of UCSB
UCSB is home to two species of nocturnal mammals that make it a truly special...
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UC Santa Barbara
Eight Populist Platforms that UCSB’s Student Government Must Adopt for the Sake of the Children
AS elections have come and gone. Students flocked in the tens to the online GOLD...
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UC Santa Barbara
UCSB Researchers Pioneer Coachella Translator: What Your Friends Really Did at the Festival
It’s the middle of April, and a magical time of year has come once again....
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Booze
UCSB’s 12 Favorite Weed Strains
4/20, a Gaucho’s favorite holiday, is here. Here are the strains Gauchos will show...
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UC Santa Barbara
The 10 Best Rap Lyrics About UCSB of All Time
Rappers just can’t seem to stop rapping about the University of California, Santa Barbara. Everyday...
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Campus Life
5 Ways to Introduce Yourself in Section So That Your Classmates Will Know Just How Mentally Unstable You Are
At the beginning of every new academic quarter, mentally unstable UCSB students are sure...
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Quiz: Which UCSB Dining Commons Are YOU?
You can tell a whole lot about someone from the Dining Hall they frequent. But are you...
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QUIZ: Which Menial UCSB Campus Job Should You Apply For?
Are you hurting for some beer money? Did you run out of paid studies to take...
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7 Reasons to Be Thankful You Don’t Go to Cal Poly
1000 years ago, on the very first Thanksgiving Day, the pilgrims held a feast with some...
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The Official UCSB Res Hall Ranking by Litness
Students have long debated which of the dorms offers the best accommodations – be it based...
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Ranking UCSB Frats by How Sweaty Their Parties Are
Everybody knows UCSB as a top-tier party school, but how often do we give thanks to...
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A Definitive Ranking of UCSB Dorms (by Height)
If you have ever wondered which dorm at UCSB is the tallest, or which dorm at...
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The 5 Easiest Classes at UCSB to Slurp Your Way to an A
Everyone’s heard the rumors, and unless you’re lame, you’ve had a few friends do it themselves....
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UCSB Declares Turf War on Campus Drug Dealers in Anticipation of Lifted California Cannabis Laws
Chancellor Yang has announced that starting the first week of Winter Quarter, new UCPD zoning ordinances...
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The Judgmental Map of San Jose, California
Since San Jose is the third largest city in California (take that, San Francisco!) there are...
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REPORT CARD: Grading the Best Places to Have Sex in Public at UCSB
Thanks to a spirited effort from the Chancellor’s office to put together this handy how-to guide,...