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Campus Life
5 of the Best Spots to Stuff Your Face on North Pleasant Street
Every now and then, students decide they need a break from UMass Dining and begin...
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Satire
WWE at Mullins Center Inspires Students To Break Tables In Half
Maintenance workers at UMass are overwhelmed this morning by the “literally thousands” of tables at...
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Booze
Isenberg Students Remain in Punta Cana to Teach Business to Locals
While most of their peers returned to UMass Amherst after living it up in the...
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Campus Life
7 Places on Campus You NEED to Visit if You Want to File a Personal Injury Lawsuit
It’s a big university out there—so big it can be daunting to decide where you...
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Satire
Coach Derek Kellogg Fired After Making Too Many Cereal Puns
Immediately following UMass’ 73-60 loss to St. Bonaventure in the A10 tournament, athletic director Ryan...
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Satire
UMass to Solve Global Warming by Refusing to End Winter
In the past few weeks, Western Massachusetts has experienced a rapid and concerning rise in...
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Booze
Everything We’ve Learned at the Base of a Southwest Toilet
There comes a time in one’s life when they must reflect and really grow, take...
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Satire
UMass to Follow Through with Plans to Become a ‘Nature Sanctuary Campus’
UMass Amherst Board of Trustees announced their plans to roll out the initiative to become...
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Booze
Amherst Obituaries: Blarney Blowout 2017
Blarney Blowout died tragically on March 4, 2017 at the hands of university martial law....
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Booze
5 Crimes Probably Committed at Blarney 2017
Blarney 2017 was unequivocally the best party day in the history of UMass and several...
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Top 5 Spots on UMass’ Campus for a DIY Glory Hole
The first thing many think when they arrive at UMass is, “man, this place could use...
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10 Things Only Students at UMass Amherst Think Are Normal
Every college has its own unique set of “normal.” Usually, the things that one university...
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A Judgmental Map of UMass’ Campus
Campus tour guides tell you this and that about what UMass’ campus is like, but what...
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Judgmental Map of Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts
If you’ve never heard of it, Jamaica Plain is a cute little neighborhood in Boston directly...
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Are You REALLY a UMass Minuteman or a UNH Bum?
Are you a Minuteman or that oversized cat with a weird name? Is red your...
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A Spooky Map of the 5 Spookiest Spots at UMass
Well, it’s October and it’s time for all the ghouls and goblins to come out. UMass...
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Can We All Finally Agree that Isenberg Students are the Worst?
Isenberg is the worst. Like, the one kid who doesn’t text back in group chat when...
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UMass’ Haigis Mall Set to Open First Store in December
After countless years of simply being a bus stop, UMass’ own Haigis Mall will finally live...
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6 of the Most Fucked Up Things to Ever Happen at UMass
UMass Amherst has a reputation for being somewhat of a “party school,” but exactly what constitutes...
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Sad: Confused UMass Student Grabs, Forgets To Go
Franklin Dining Commons employees were at a loss for words on Monday when a student at...