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Satire
UMass Parking Services Now Accepting Your Left Kidney As Payment
Due to a surge in formal complaints and citation appeals swarming the administration, University of Massachusetts...
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UMass
A Mahar Seating Guide for All of Your Awkward Lecture Hall Needs
Happy first week of school, ya shmucks. This means not only do you have to start being...
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UMass
Student Union Hair Salon to Begin Negging Students into Haircuts
As students are gearing up for a grueling second semester, Bucci, the beloved hair salon set...
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UMass
An Open Letter to the Person Who Stole My Fracket
To the guy (or girl, or non-binary member of our UMass community) who stole my fracket last...
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UMass
Here’s How to Pass that Orgo Class You Failed the First Time, Ya Dummy
When it comes to organic chemistry there’s just way too much going on, and you never...
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UMass
Here’s All the Masshole Pats Fans You’ll Find in Amherst This Weekend
After this latest round of NFL playoff games we’re left with four teams standing: the Vikings,...
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UMass
Op-Ed: I Wish School Was in Session So I Could Force You All to Go to Class
Dearest Minutemen, It’s Kumble R. Subbaswamy, your chancellor. You might’ve just woken to news that your...
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Campus Life
UMass Majors Renamed to Fit What They Actually Are
The University of Massachusetts Amherst certainly is the place to be whether you’re a budding scholar...
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Campus Life
6 of the Most Fucked Up Things to Ever Happen at UMass
UMass Amherst has a reputation for being somewhat of a “party school,” but exactly what constitutes...
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Booze
The Black Sheep REALLY ACTUALLY Interviews The Didgeridude
The Black Sheep UMass had the pleasure of interviewing the esteemed Didgeridude, and we held a...
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Top 5 Spots on UMass’ Campus for a DIY Glory Hole
The first thing many think when they arrive at UMass is, “man, this place could use...
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10 Things Only Students at UMass Amherst Think Are Normal
Every college has its own unique set of “normal.” Usually, the things that one university...
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Are You REALLY a UMass Minuteman or a UNH Bum?
Are you a Minuteman or that oversized cat with a weird name? Is red your...
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A Judgmental Map of UMass’ Campus
Campus tour guides tell you this and that about what UMass’ campus is like, but what...
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Judgmental Map of Jamaica Plain, Massachusetts
If you’ve never heard of it, Jamaica Plain is a cute little neighborhood in Boston directly...
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6 of the Most Fucked Up Things to Ever Happen at UMass
UMass Amherst has a reputation for being somewhat of a “party school,” but exactly what constitutes...
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Can We All Finally Agree that Isenberg Students are the Worst?
Isenberg is the worst. Like, the one kid who doesn’t text back in group chat when...
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UMass’ Haigis Mall Set to Open First Store in December
After countless years of simply being a bus stop, UMass’ own Haigis Mall will finally live...
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A Spooky Map of the 5 Spookiest Spots at UMass
Well, it’s October and it’s time for all the ghouls and goblins to come out. UMass...
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Sad: Confused UMass Student Grabs, Forgets To Go
Franklin Dining Commons employees were at a loss for words on Monday when a student at...