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National
We Texted 6 Girls From Tinder ‘Twin Peaks’ Quotes To See If They Killed Laura Palmer
In a world where everyone dates online, it can be hard to get noticed. In honor...
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Campus Life
5 Cute Recruitment Outfits Inspired by 19th-Century Women Named Elizabeth
Rifling through your closet trying to find the perfect rush or recruitment outfit? Looks like it...
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Campus Life
New Dorm Trend Sweeps Nation: College Freshmen Everywhere Are Trading Their Tapestries For Fresh Roadkill
First it was movie posters, then string lights, then tapestries, but 2018 college freshmen have begun...
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Campus Life
Turlington’s Potato Steadily Baking in Gainesville Heat
Although summer has not yet officially started, Gainesville has seen no mercy; temperatures have already soared...
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Satire
Davis Becomes Engulfed in Pot Cloud as Whole Earth Festival Approaches
As Whole Earth Festival, Davis’s air quality worsens each day, and it’s not because of pollution,...
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Satire
Opinion: The UC Strike is Good And All, But Have You Considered Me?
My name is Chad Bradson, I am a freshman man-econ major and proud member of Alpa...
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Campus Life
5 Commencement Speakers That Would F Sh*t Up at Mizzou Graduation
With graduation quickly approaching, there are a lot of things Mizzou seniors are wondering about. For...
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Booze
5 Biggest Student-Athlete Partiers Mizzou Has Ever Seen
Everyone knows the longest war in American history is the battle of MUPD and Mizzou star...
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Satire
Imagining The Avengers as UC Davis Students
In the new movie, Avengers: Infinity War, we got to see approximately 78 superheroes all fighting a...
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Campus Life
6 Majors Who Are Most Likely to B**ch You Out at Ellis During Mizzou Finals Week
With Mizzou finals week approaching and everyone stressed out, it’s probably best to try and mind...
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Sean Hannity: A White House Slumber Party Memoir
The following are entries pulled from my diary (yes, I have a diary, don’t laugh)...
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American Population All Extras In Upcoming 1984 Remake Starring Donald Trump
In a Wednesday night primetime interview with Fox News’ Bill O’Reilly, Presidential Spokesperson Kellyanne Conway revealed...
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5 Cute Recruitment Outfits Inspired by 19th-Century Women Named Elizabeth
Rifling through your closet trying to find the perfect rush or recruitment outfit? Looks like it...
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App Convinces College Student to ‘Calm the F*** Out and Chill’
This is a sponsored post in collaboration with Calm College. With midterms-that-seem-to-turn-into-finals season approaching, a 20+...
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Student Panicking Because Not Sure If Able to Top Last Year’s Halloween Costume
With the turn of the season, many students are finally beginning to feel comfortable with their...
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Millions of Women’s Periods Sync Up in Heartwarming Show of Solidarity
The day after Donald Trump was sworn into office, millions of women and some incredibly...
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Trump Forces Starbucks to Split Green Unity Cup into 13 Separate Cups
On November 1st, Starbucks debuted a green “unity” cup, consisting of a mosaic of over a...
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5 Last-Minute DIY BC Halloween Costumes You Can Whip Up with Shit Laying Around Your Apartment
Halloween is fast approaching and you don’t have all the outfits you’ll need for partying that...
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Universities Preemptively Issue Statement on Frats Planning ‘Tiki Torch-Bearing Alt-Right’ Halloween Costumes
In anticipation of students dressin up like alt-right protesters from Charlottesville for this upcoming Halloween, universities...
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Last Functioning Elevator in Warren Towers Tired of Being Puked In
WARREN TOWERS — Elevator 3, serving the residents of Marshall “B” Tower, has reported that it...
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Behind the Scenes at MSU Campus News [VIDEO]
We go behind the scenes at MSU Campus News to see how they go about...
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Local Idiot Drops Whole Plate of Food at Crown [VIDEO]
Last week, a local idiot spilled her food in Crown Commons. The Black Sheep has...