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A Day In The Life Of A UCF LimeBike

You may have noticed the new rental bikes littered across campus. You may have even noticed how convenient they are for drunken jousting in the parking garages. But have you really thought about the bike? Have you ever considered the amount of shit that bike had to deal with all day? Well, here’s a day in the life of a UCF LimeBike.

10/2/18 8 a.m. Parking Garage I:

After a long night of frat boys, natty boys, and wheelies this LimeBike was found on the roof of parking garage I. The smell of stale beer and sweat still wafted from the bike according to the handler that found the castaway. The handler retrieves the bike and returns it to the herd.

10/2/18 8:15 a.m. “The Herd”

The bike returns to its proverbial water cooler, here the bikes talk mad shit about the people who ride them. Have a long day at the gym and rode a LimeBike with swamp ass? Left one lying on the ground with not even a kickstand to lean on? The other LimeBikes find out and eventually it’ll be tough to find a bike. Just remember to be kind to the rental bikes.

10/2/18 10:30 a.m. Lake Clair Apartments:


After a few routine rides across campus from class to class the bike found itself outside of Towers. Here the bike was used as a revamped walk of shame to get back home. With a basket up front for all your previous night’s accessories, the LimeBike is the sophisticated morning after mode of transportation.

10/2/18 1:25 p.m. Chem Building:

Five minutes before a huge chem midterm and you just remember that you need to be there to take it. No time to walk so you grab the nearest LimeBike. It gets you to the building with a minute to spare, no time for proper bike etiquette. You dismount the bike and let it fall to the weeds, not even missing a step to go fail that chem mid. The bike lays helpless, hoping to get tipped right way up again.

10/2/18 4:20pm Parking Garage A:

After a long day of carting lazy college kids around the bike finds a final resting place in the shade. Resting with its bike companion waiting for the next handler to come bring them back to the herd. The day is done, unless some jabroni decides to cart a quarter keg of Miller High Life in the handle basket.

 

So next time you decide to use the rental bikes for some half baked plan you made up with your friends while you watched Jackass stop and think about what that bike has been through. The life of a UCF LimeBike is not an easy one.

Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb, hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep, Mackenzie & Andrea. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire. Subscribe to Talk of Shame:

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