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Riot Breaks Out At UCF Chili’s Karaoke Night After Student Sings Iris By The Goo Goo Dolls Three Times In A Row

A night of booze, second-hand embarrassment, and fajitas ended in riots after a student sang “Iris” by the Goo Goo Dolls three times in a row at the campus Chili’s karaoke night on Tuesday.

No serious injuries occurred.

Jared Connor, a junior at UCF, enjoys spending his free time trolling the shit out of people. Boasting up to five different socials media accounts for each platform, Connor is nothing if not dedicated to his art. But online interaction is where it ended for Connor and he wanted to branch out.

“I really wanted to step up my game, anyone can troll from behind a computer,” Connor said. “I wanted to prove that I could troll face to face with the best of them.”

Margaritas flowed like wine, the sizzling of fajitas could be heard from all angles, and, in the back corner next to the bar, a small stage was set up for the singers. As Connor approached the stage the all-too familiar acoustic chords rang out. Heads began to pop up across the room. Phones no longer important, everyone in the room wanted to make sure they were hearing correctly.

Next thing they knew, Connor was belting out the chorus of the alt-rock abomination “Iris.” The crowd erupted in cheers, some students even began singing along with Connor. As he finished the crowd gave him a final cheer of approval, and proceeded to chat amongst each themselves.

But than the familiar chords ring out again.

Everyone looks at the stage to find Connor still on stage, preparing to start again. This time patrons were less than amused. Connor’s inability to sing was no longer funny, and the song was now just “plain annoying,” one student commented.

Boos began to poor in, but Connor finished his set and left the stage. For the first time ever people were excited at the thought of a sorority girl fumbling her way through the newest Taylor Swift song, as long as it put an end to the Goo Goo Dolls.

Instead, those same three chords rang through the speakers.

Before Connor could begin the first verse, a dome-seeking beer bottle made contact with Connor’s skull. At that same moment, three guys simultaneously picked up their chairs and broke them over the bar. Anarchy erupted in the restaurant that looked more like a wild west saloon than a casual family eatery.

According to onlookers, “people were throwing punches, mosh pits formed, and, in one corner, a hockey game even broke out.” 

The riot was ultimately dissolved when the manager offered everyone in the restaurant a complimentary order of mozzarella sticks.

After the riot, Chili’s plans to look into their karaoke policy to help ensure that something like this happens again. They also promise that “Iris,” “Wonderwall,” and “Don’t Stop Believin'” will be removed from the restaurant’s karaoke catalogue.

Listen to Talk of Shame, a podcast about being young & dumb, hosted by 2 drunk girls from The Black Sheep, Mackenzie & Andrea. One can’t find her tampon, the other one’s laundry is probably on fire. Subscribe to Talk of Shame:

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