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UCF Students Just Trying to Get a Semi-Decent Parking Spot One F***ing Time


UCF Parking Services reported seeing an unusually large number of cars remaining overnight in various parking garages throughout campus this past week. When asked why there was such an increase in overnight residents, they said many students were attempting to save parking spots for the first day of classes.

“Prime parking areas on campus became makeshift campgrounds beginning as early as Tuesday evening, when the ‘pioneers’ first started settling,” said parking “officer” John Turley. “That night only a handful of people braved the harsh conditions of Parking Garage D, which was worsened by one of Florida’s most intense winters in years, bringing temperatures as low as 37 degrees Fahrenheit.”

But after that first night, more and more of these outdoorsman showed up, and by Friday night there were essentially shanty towns set up in every garage across campus. With an aesthetic that could only be described as “a mixture of game day tailgating and the Great Depression,” these temporary societies ran off the common goal of getting semi-decent parking on the first day of classes.


Aaron Owens, one of the first campers, explains his reason behind camping out on campus. “In the few years that I have attended this school, parking has always been a problem. And this semester I just didn’t want to deal with it.”

The topic of why camp out for so long also came up, “It honestly started out as a joke, but as you can see so many other people had the same idea this semester. I’m glad that I got here when I did.”

So for all of you who didn’t camp out in your car this weekend, beware, parking will be even more difficult than usual. Your best plan of action is honestly just to Uber to class.

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