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Chicago Man Found in Slice of Lou Malnati’s Deep Dish

Lakeview resident Adam Weiser, 34, was found face down in 3 inches of tomato sauce below a thin layer of cheese and mushroom. His body was next to an open pizza box. 

Weiser ordered a deep dish pizza from Lou Malnati’s Lincoln Park location around 8 p.m., during the seventh inning of last night’s Cubs’s game against the Cleveland Indians. He was discovered early this morning by his girlfriend Amy Glazer returning home from a trip. 

“This shouldn’t have happened,” Glazer said through tears. “I left him at least three frozen dinners from Trader Joe’s.”

Joey Marshall, the young driver who delivered Weiser his saucy fate, claims it was clear that alcohol was involved in the incident. 

“Yeah, the guy was like grippin’ an Old Style and tellin me about how pretty Bryant’s eyes are,” Marshall said. “But I’ve seen this guy order like three pizzas at a time before, and he was way more ripshit than he was last night. I really thought he could handle himself.”

A memorial service will be held for Weiser this Sunday at 3 p.m. He will be cremated in Lou’s brick oven before his ashes are sprinkled over Lake Michigan.

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