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Not Surprising: ‘Drunk’ Mascot Bo Rambler Denied From Traveling With Team to Final Four

Former Loyola-Chicago mascot Bo Rambler, short for hobo, was denied travel with the Loyola-Chicago men’s basketball team to the Final Four on Wednesday after players and coaches claimed he was “drunk as hell—sorry for cursing, Sister Jean.”

“We were going through security at O’Hare, and Bo shows up smelling like Malort,” said a team trainer. “He tried to put the brakes on Sister Jean’s wheelchair to convince her to let him on the team, and then security came and got [Bo]. When they tried to handcuff him, he started screaming how we should’ve lost to Illinois State and that Sister Jean was a closet Lutheran.”

After being told of the team’s altercation with Bo, Loyola Wolf, the team’s current mascot, said that he was disturbed by Bo’s behavior, adding it wasn’t representative of the school’s Catholic teachings.

“I’ve heard everything I need to know about what is going on with Bo and, to tell you the truth, I feel bad for him,” Wolf told reporters as the team boarded the plane to San Antonio. “He’s the product of a weird era in sports mascots, and, when you pair those feelings with lots of alcohol, you’re not going to get good results.

“Fuck [Wolf],” Bo said on Thursday morning, where he was seen outside of Regis Hall in Chicago, drinking out a flask.“Greedy goddamn wolf ruined my life—you ever see a wolf in Chicago? Only at the zoo, right? Cause that’s where he belongs.”

Several students who passed Bo outside Regis on their way to class on Thursday tried to offer remorse for the former mascot but were, for the most part, shot down.

“I walked right past Bo and said, ‘Hi,’ and he tried to trip me, said senior Laura Adams. “But when I moved out of the way he screamed, ‘Think you’re all fancy with your working feet.’” Honestly, we see Bo stumbling around campus every now and then, saying how great the good old days used to be, but this March Madness run seems to really hit him where it hurts.”


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