LAKEVIEW — The above picture is an accurate representation of what would happen if Chicago seceded from Illinois, my extremely high neighbor Ryan said last night.
“I ran of bunch of computer models and smoked an incredible amount of Jamaican Gold last night and this is what I came up with,” Ryan said. “When you think about it, it’d be pretty amazing if Chicago was an island and we kept drifting until we hit Canada and then we could finally get out of this place.”
When asked if a continual drift was still possible, Ryan said he was too high to comment.
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