Listen, things on the CTA this week got a little weird. But then again, someone’s always pooping in the corner or kicking a kid somewhere in Chicago. That being said, The Black Sheep would like to present to you a round up of the best things the Blue, Red, Brown, and Green lines had the pleasure of witnessing this week. Here’s what we learned from Twitter:
That eating on the ground is uhh, something people WANT to do:
— People of the CTA (@PeopleofCTA) March 27, 2018
Dude, you have to know deep down somewhere in your hungry heart that someone pooped in that spot, that very same spot where you naively placed your Happy Meal. Enjoy your poopy Big Mac, I guess?
That we’re not the only ones drinking on a Wednesday night:
I’m a bus today #CTA
— The Purple Line (@CTAPurpleNurple) March 29, 2018
Somewhere out there between Linden and Howard on Thursday morning there was a drunk conductor operating the Purple Line. We can’t necessarily condone this, but we do silently salute you in your efforts.
There are plenty of smells to go around:
The guy that just sat in front of me on the train smells liked pepperoni pizza… in a good way. #CTA
— Robin K (@thetrudybird) March 23, 2018
Robin, we don’t know how to tell you this but usually when people smell like meats it’s because they’re sweaty. But hey, whatever you’re into.
That there are more smells than we initially wanted:
— Hooray4Johnnywood (@JohnMichealMac) March 29, 2018
Hey uh, John. Knowingly releasing a fart on a very crowded train car is perhaps one of the meanest crimes anyone can commit. Please do not brag about this on Twitter, just keep this one between you and Jim in the cubicle next to you who also still thinks farts are funny.
That the spirit of Vine lives on in Chicago:
Someone on @TheBrownLine just busted in through the connecting door proclaiming "Hi, welcome to Chili's!" and I about lost my shit.
— speed tweed (@goatradish) March 20, 2018
Well, if you’re going to keep the Brown Line from slowly making its way downtown, then you better be sure you’re making an entrance everyone can enjoy. We applaud you Chili’s man (?), and we’re really hoping we catch you for an encore performance.
That everybody loves a good ol’ fashion staring contest:
This dude just took a giant hit from a vape box in the train, saw me clock him, and now he’s just holding it in his mouth like a squirrel storing acorns in its cheeks. I’ll never look away. #cta #springbreak
— J Harner (@jayjayharner) March 30, 2018
Oh my god Jay, it’s bad enough you caught the poor in an act as embarrassing as vaping. The least you can do is the let the man breathe and disappear into a dusty vapor cloud of shame and sadness. We do admire your commitment to hot and heavy eye contact, though.
And that not all heroes wear capes:
— CʜɪᴄᴀɢᴏSᴄᴀɴɴᴇʀ (@Chicago_Scanner) March 27, 2018
Thank you @Chicago_Scanner for helping all of us avoid another jug of urine to the face. You’re the hero we need, but not the one that we deserve.
Check back next to see who got bed bugs, and who had the pleasure of accidentally sitting in a puddle of piss on the Red Line.
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