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Mean Tweets About the Chicago Bean

Hey, it’s me Cloud. Cloud Gate from Chicago? A lot people think it’s pronounced “the bean”, but c’mon. Take a goddamn linguistics class why don’t ya? How did people think mean tweets about the Chicago Bean was an ok thing to do? 

Anyway, I recently got really into Twitter and let me tell ya, there are a bunch of idiots out there tweeting garbage about “emails being able to fart”, and even more from people just being critical of my figure. Whatever, I can handle people whispering that I’m just a shiny legume, but you know where I draw the line? When I see a video of some smug chick in glasses just reading tweet, after tweet about how I’m “nothing like the Google images”, and that they “want to shove me up their ass”. Yeah right, dude! Here, look at this trash!:

You know what “Andrea” from The Black Sheep your hair could use more than a few highlights, and there’s a little ball hanging out of your nose that looks like a booger. Talk about calling the kettle black, am I right?

And what about you @patpawolski? Yeah, you’re right, man. I am filled with medical waste! And you see Kelly over there taking a selfie while she touches my smooth side? She has no idea her grandma’s kidney’s right on the other side floating around in a big messa’ blood next to her dead dog Shep. HA HA HA

Okay, fine. I guess some of these are funny, and yeah, I have been known to attract quite a few white girls in my day, but listen @ImEricSchnieder. I AM not small. I am 168 panels of stainless steel welded together, and dammit that’s above average for any sculpture!

If you think you’re so clever, go ahead and tweet something “mean” about me. Tag @theblacksheep99 too. Seems like those guys have a litttttttle too much free time on their hands, ‘specially that bitch with four eyes. They’ll probably want to make a sequel out of this smut anyway.

Gate OUT.

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