It’s only the first week of classes at Clemson and everyone already seems to be planning out how to do the bare minimum and still pass the semester. Parking in the Pit is already a nightmare and the bookstore in Hendrix is even worse. If you’re not sure how to tell if you’re 100% done with everything before it even starts, here are some probable indicators!
5.) You’re day drinking:
This is rather common in Clemson. But it’s even worse when you’re doing it and then realize that you still need to pick up your textbooks. Chances are the employees in Hendrix aren’t going to trust you with $500+ worth of books when you can’t even pull up your confirmation email without drooling on it.
4.) You don’t care enough to check RateMyProfessor:
You’ve already registered with a specific professor. Why give yourself anxiety finding out that she’s a total fart? Surprises are fun! Give yourself something to look forward to because honestly, regardless of who your professor is, you’re going to bullshit as much work as you possibly can. That’s fine, though. You’ll probably get decent grades because they still haven’t figured out Canvas.
3.) You’re checking the syllabus for the attendance policy:
The first day of class is easy but it’s also a waste of valuable time that you could spend sleeping. You’ll totally go to every other class. The real lessons don’t start until week like, five or six. You know what, you can probably just wing the final, just relax and enjoy some me time!
2.) You’re applying to write for The Black Sheep:
You’ve thought about your workload and you’ve decided that you don’t care! Why not just write a funny article every week on top of your piles of homework and then get into Facebook fights with Clemson parents who don’t understand that your articles are jokes and Dabo Swinney’s real name isn’t actually Dabartholomew Swinney?
1.) Your mom texts you every day asking if you’re doing alright:
Your Facebook statuses are a bit concerning. Posts like, “Clemson football is over for a few months. Life’s a bitch and then you die,” aren’t necessarily normal. We know you still miss Deshaun, but he isn’t coming back and you know that. Too bad CAPS has a waiting list longer than the list of Alabama fans who voted for Roy Moore.
New Year’s resolutions go to complete shit once school starts, what with the “stress” of syllabus week and the constant reminders that you actually have to try in the beginning of the semester so that you can slack off in the second half.
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