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A Reason To Hate Every Team On Clemson’s 2014 Football Schedule

With the 2014 Clemson football season right around the corner, The Black Sheep is here with a reason to hate each team on the schedule.

 

8/30: University Of Georgia- Located in Athens, an Atlanta exurb named after the city in Greece. What, Georgia? America isn’t good enough for you? Georgia hates America.

 

9/6: South Carolina State University- SCSU is suspiciously close to SCLSU, the school from The Waterboy, what a rip-off. Also, their mascot is a bulldog, the same as Georgia’s. South Carolina State University is embarrassingly unoriginal.

 

9/20: Florida State- Mack Brown, who was forced to resign from his job last year, went to Florida State. It is clearly a college for failures.

 

9/27: University of North Carolina- UNC was built on the ruins of a chapel, meaning it’s only a matter of time before it’s blown to bits by God’s fiery wrath.

 

10/4: NC State- Zach Galifanakis went to NC St. and he makes a living playing an idiot in movies. It can justly be assumed he based these dumb characters on the people he met while at NC State.

 

10/11: Louisville- Louisville is new to the ACC, meaning it’s essentially an illegal immigrant in our conference and is here to take our jobs. Go back to your own conference!

 

10/18: Boston College- The most important sport at Boston College is hockey. What are they, Canadian?

 

10/25: Syracuse- Commentator Bob Costas got pink eye while commentating the 2014 Winter Olympics. Syracuse graduates literally get sick from American Patriotism.

 

11/6: Wake Forest- Wake Forest is located in Winston-Salem, as in the Salem Witch Trials. The school is only there to remind us of the terrible time in America’s history when witches ravaged our great nation. Who cares if it was really Salem, Massachusetts?

 

11/15: Georgia Tech- Jimmy Carter went to Georgia Tech. That pretty much stands by itself as a reason to hate Georgia Tech.

 

11/22: Georgia State- 61% of first year students live off campus at Georgia State. Even the people who go to school there can’t stand to live near it.

 

11/29: University Of South Carolina- Self-explanatory.

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