It hasn’t been a great year of old Catbus, first throwing itself down a flight of stairs, then bowling over a poor girl on Cherry Rd, and now another Catbus has self-immolated on Fort Hill Rd. Is the Catbus, much like many a student here, looking at the uphill battle of spring semester and just NOPE-ing its way out? Is it possessed, trying to murder all humans and take over the world in some shitty version of Transformers but all the Transformers are just busses? Clemson students seem perplexed at what the hell is going on as well, and took to Twitter this morning to ask some important questions.
Do they hire just, like, anyone?:
Clemson: “why did you apply to be a catbus driver?”
Applicant: “I’ve never driven a car and I’m blind”
Clemson: “You’re hired”
— Jake Gardner. (@jake14gardner) January 19, 2018
Are there an actuaries in the house?:
The Catbus stays trying to kill people
— Nick Hix (@nick_hix) January 19, 2018
Someone calculate the risk of riding the Catbus everyday. We’d reckon it’s more dangerous than skydiving with sharks. What a rush!
HAPPY FRIDAY!!!! Our catbus caught on fire while we were on it :-))))
Such a rush when you’re sitting in the back too ? pic.twitter.com/UxByDFWF2I
— Carrielynn (@carriemlynn) January 19, 2018
That’s the spirit! Here at Clemson we live on the edge.
You're trying to get class. You have 2 options.
1. Get on the catbus and go for a wild ride down a hill, end up in a ditch, or burn to death.
2. Walk to class and get run over by a catbus.
— Mac Gandy (@Theholy_MACeral) January 19, 2018
Maybe it’s just a misaligned attempt to warm students up?:
Cold? Hop on one of our buses for a quick warm-me-up! pic.twitter.com/SjpzRuPxKq
— Clemson Area Transit (@ClemsonCATBUS) January 19, 2018
Poor Catbus, they’re just trying to help! Their big dumb bus brains can’t quite understand lighting on fire isn’t helping students warm up.
Somewhere Catbus fat cats are one-upping each other for money:
"No CATBUS story can get more wild than that time last fall the brakes failed on one and it ran down the stairs by the stadium."
— Blake (@Bbetsill263) January 19, 2018
It’s kind of like the Hunger Games only everyone dies and no one wins.
Catbus driver handed me the Aux cord this morning even though I warned him it was a bad idea.
— Nathan Hale (@Hail_KingNate) January 19, 2018
Not sure the 100-song playlist of shitty Soundcloud rappers you force everyone to listen to during pregames is what did it, but maybe!
When you tell the CatBus driver to hurry up because you’re about to be late: pic.twitter.com/p31nFQQeGV
— M (@MainTanay) January 19, 2018
Catbus: “Step on it! We’re going to attempt to be on time for once!” *immediately starts on fire*
Got any more reasons the Catbus started on fire in this hilarious albeit very frightening reality that Clemson’s infrastructure is crumbling and haphazardly putting students at risk? Tweet at @BlackSheep_Clem and we’ll update this post!