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Why Is Clemson Cheating Students Out of Bowl Game Tickets?

According to a few friends at Alabama (yes, we know, puke) the University of Alabama is offering the 500 free Taco Bell tickets to its students, IN ADDITION TO offering up 551 MORE tickets to students for a pretty-cheap-for-bowl-game price of $175.oo a piece. This peeved us pretty hard because our school, Clemson, is offering up only the 500 free tickets to Taco Bell. If you’re a student who wants a ticket otherwise, you’re left to navigate fucking IPTAY, the dildo factory of ticket markets.

Here’s the email Bama students got:

First congrats on them for knowing how computers work. Second wow, look at all those tickets. Can’t wait for there to be TWICE AS MANY ‘BAMA FANS at the Sugar Bowl. K Boogie help us, this is a disgrace. 

We already know Clemson is desperate to squeeze any money they can out of students already, but the bowl game? Not just regular games and their mind-boggling “lottery,” but the bowl game? Why exchange your best fans from the most important game of the season for the highest bidder? Though it makes us feel physical pain to say it, Alabama did the right thing this time. 

Here’s the email Clemson students got, basically saying Oh, you didn’t win. Go fuck yourself if you think we’d save tickets for our students. We’ve got a new business school or something to build!


That’s right, Clemson is #ALLIN on… making you pay a $200 downpayment on free tickets? What?

Yes, Clemson is continuing its Grinch-ian ways with the National Championship. If Alabama makes it to the Natty (god forbid, knock on wood, fingers crossed), they’re giving their students a total of 1,900 tickets (500 free, 1400 for $575). Clemson is giving up *pretends to do mental math* oh yeah, the 500 tickets Taco Bell already paid for. Great. Thanks a fuckin’ lot. 

Listen guys, we’re not asking for handouts here. We’d pay for the tickets. We’re just asking that you take a cue from *coughs up blood* Alabama… and reserve flat rate tickets for students before we get buttfucked by people with real jobs and real money, who although great fans godbless, won’t scream their goddamn hearts out when Boogie goes long. It’s too bad we’re all soulless corpses from finals week, otherwise we’d, I don’t know, make a petition or something. 

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