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Each Clemson Dorm as Beloved Christmas Characters

Christmas touches the hearts of any and all that observe its red and green magic, but most importantly, ABC Family’s 25 Days to Christmas countdown is almost underway. Accompanied by bourbon-spiked eggnog, we at Clemson gaze mindlessly at Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer and Elf. Perhaps it was too much eggnog, but Christmas characters are manifesting themselves all over campus.

5.) Cope Kringle Hall:

clemson cope

Oh, one of our beloved shoeboxes! Cope Kringle Hall has taken on the daunting task that is being Kris Kringle during December. How Cope is to cope with the sudden grueling hours or overseeing elves and laboring over tinker toys? The Black Sheep will get back to you on that one after another glass of eggnog.

4.) Lever Drummer Boy:

 

clemson lever

In light of recent drug-bust happenings in Lever, The Black Sheep has put a modern spin on a classic Christmas tune:

“Come [to Lever] they told me

Pa rum pum pum pum

A new born [stoner engineer] to see

Pa rum pum pum pum

Our finest [bongs] we bring

Pa rum pum pum pum

To [light up] before the king

Pa rum pum pum pum,

Rum pum pum pum,

Rum pum pum pum”

 3.) The Grinch’s Thornhill:

clemson thornhill

Who wouldn’t be a little grumpy when living in the most ghetto apartments on campus? Despite all of the Christmas cheer, Thornhillers embody the Grinch’s perpetually cheerless spirit. Foul, cranky, and dismal are the Grinchs of Thornhill! They would agree that come December, most Clemson students are the following, in the infamous terms of Jim Carrey; “All right, you’re a reindeer. Here’s your motivation: Your name is Rudolph, you’re a freak with a red nose, and no one likes you.”

2.) Elf on a Clemson House Hill: 

Jan 29, 2010: Clemson House

The Christmas tradition of spying and possible child exploitation with Elf on the Shelf is represented best by Clemson House, which looms over the rest of campus, judging from afar. Some anxiety-ridden freshman’s parents probably placed it there. Whoever they are, we are going to go Tiger on their ass! Only after another glass of eggnog, of course. 

1.) Stadium Sugarplum Suites:

stadium suites

The magic of Death Valley, otherwise referred to as the Bethlehem of Clemson, naturally radiates into the Stadium Sugarplum Suites. The sophomores of the Suites wholeheartedly represent the three Wise Fools, perpetually thinking that they know all but truly know virtually nothing. They simply just want to pass their finals in time for the ACC championship, just like the rest of us. They are following the stars right out of their apartments to Death Valley where their 4.0 resides.

But hey, seeing as we’re all grownups here, there’s no need to worry about what list you’re on this Christmas! So kick back and relax as long as you can with finals looming on the horizon—preferably with some festively spiked adult beverages.

Hey dummy, listen (AND SUBSCRIBE) to our podcast with Twitter’s @Rad_Milk!

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