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How to: Prep Your Little Butts for the Best Clemson Football Season Yet

This year should be the most exciting in our history. Our schedule is crazy with the month of September being harder than a calculus final. Auburn, at Louisville, at Virginia Tech. Who the hell scheduled that!?!?! On the bright side we should have at the very least two exciting home games versus Auburn and Florida State who should both be ranked in the top ten. Maybe we’ll get College Gameday to come twice like back in 2013. Needless to say this season is going to be nuts, and here’s how to prep yourself and make it to January alive. 

Clemson has one of the best tailgating scenes in the country and everyone’s friendly, because we’re, you know, good now. Apparently the school added some new tailgating spots across the highway, because Tiger Nation is growing exponentially at this point. That being said, if unsupervised crowds of drunk Clemson Dads isn’t your scene, there’s always the bar scene. Friar’s is gone (R.I.P), but Tiger Town Tavern, Backstreets, and Nicks are all solid locations to watch both home and away games, especially since they have actual bathrooms and not plastic shit shelters baking in the South Carolina sun. 

Guard your shit talk:
Last season was just flat out amazing, and literally every Clemson fan is pretty sure we’re the best thing to happen to college football since Dabo’s birth. In case you didn’t know, last year was the first time Clemson has won the national championship title in 36 years, so maybe it’s time to stop chanting ACC and giving Bama and OSU fans shit. We’re classy over here at Clemson unlike those sore winners. Giving shit to Carolina fans is still okay, because that’s expected, 56-7 losers!

Know the new crew:
It’s going to be tough replacing all the once in a lifetime offensive talent from last year. Players like Mike Williams, Wayne Train, Jordan Leggett, and of course Deshaun (sobs uncontrollably). But if anyone can do it, it’s the coolest 47-year-old in the world: our man Dabo. The guy dances like a goofy white dad with two left feet, but he coaches like the hall of famer. The offense is going to look completely different, but Clemson’s recruitment has been out of this world. Hopefully Kelly Bryant plays well and isn’t the second coming of Cole Stoudt. On the other hand our defense will be loaded with studs and should be one of the best in the nation. Again. 

Be smart about your tickets:
Of course none of the above will matter if students continue to get screwed over by the worst ticketing system in the world. Yeah, never fails that people who log onto early to get their tickets get stuck in the waiting room. But don’t worry, there’s still plenty of stuff to keep you busy.

Just two weeks till the party starts. This season should have everything a southern belle could dream of. Drama, food, beer, and boys in tights. Can’t wait to see all y’all out there.

While you’re waiting for your tickets, listen to our podcast! 

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