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Clemson Takes on Hurricane Joaquin: Wins.


In the Clemson v. Notre Dame game, the Clemson football team and attendant legions of fans proved yet again what it means to be a member of the Tiger Nation. Despite driving rain, flood warnings, and overconsumption of purple and orange Jello shots the previous night, Clemson students gave ESPN Game Day a taste of what it means to be truly southern.


10.3 clemson juaquin gameday


The day began questionably, with many a concerned citizen attempting to impose their sanity on the football-crazed masses of Clemson. Governor Nikki Haley warned the student body to “stay home, stay safe,” advising students to watch the game on television.


However, with courage wrought from a higher source, students continued to face Joaquin. Bright and early at ESPN game day, we caught up with sophomore Greg Howler, who had laminated his sign against the rain in defiance of Joaquin and Haley. “Coach said it’ll be okay because Jesus is here!” Howler shouted over the rain, “And I know it’s true, because Dabo said it!”


10.3 clemson juaquin signs


As the day progressed and it became clear that this was a once-in-1000-years flood event, the tailgaters faithfully lining the intramural swamps held fast. “Well, if Jesus is here,” said alumni Marsha Wright as she hurriedly lashed together cornhole targets to make a raft, “Then I’m sure He’ll send Noah to save us if it gets too bad.”


As the gates to Death Valley opened, the ladies of Clemson showed their dedication to southern fashion persisted, even in the face of the veritable waterfalls forming on all staircases. “We have to show these Yankees the meaning of good shoes,” said senior superfan Casey Falls. “They should look equally sexy at nightclubs and in duck hunting.”




As trees were toppled, power went out, and streets turned to rivers around them, the game in Death Valley came down to a nail-biting fourth quarter. Despite upperclassmen fears of the return of Clemsoning, the Clemson defense held true in the fourth quarter. When the clock ran out, amidst a rush of fans, hurricane winds, and Dabo’s sermon, the Clemson football team remained undefeated for the fall 2015 season.


In the words of our fearless leader, the Tiger Nation brought their own guts to face Notre Dame and Hurricane Joaquin—Georgia Tech, we’re coming for you next.

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