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What Each Clemson Major Would Bring to Thanksgiving Dinner

You know what’s fun? Getting together with your family and celebrating the genocide that allowed you to eat dinner with relatives you don’t really know, on some Thursday in November. The thing we look forward to the most is the food, and often, each type of food is designated to a certain family member. Since we’re a #ClemsonFamily, let’s apply that concept to the majors here, shall we?

5.) Engineering – Cranberry Sauce:

Engineering majors are always talking about their physics classes for some reason. If you have Snapchat or friends in general you’ll know what physics homework looks like because an engineering student has shown it to you before one way or another, thinking that you would somehow be impressed because of how many numbers are on the page. Cranberry sauce is the Thanksgiving equivalent of physics homework, because it’s hyped up and brought out to amaze, but is quickly dismissed by the family members that are 22 and under. Adults will eat that shit up though. Good job!

4.) Graphic Communications – Rolls:

If you’re not a graphic comm major, you don’t really know what they do, which is quite understandable. But the one thing with them that you can rely on is they know how to make buttons. And man, people sure do love putting quirky circles on their bags to make them look edgy and opinionated even if they aren’t quite sure about the cultural significance behind the relatable “Namaste in bed.” But we see buttons and we want more. The same goes for bread. It’s so simple and enjoyed through many walks of life yet we feel the same level of excitement for it every single time we see it. Now, if only we could successfully pin bread to our bags without it going stale.

3.) Political Science – Green Bean Casserole:

You know when you get into a debate with a poli sci major and immediately regret it? Well, that’s most people’s experience with green bean casseroles, so looks like we’re eating well this Thanksgiving. You take a look at that casserole thinking, “This should be good for me. It has vegetables in it. Maybe I’ll like—never mind it’s too green for me,” the same way you look at a political science major and think, “This should be good for me. Ideas will be shared. Maybe I’ll like—never mind this person keeps saying ‘All Lives Matter.’”

2.) Agriculture – Turkey:

Turkey makes up the foundation of Thanksgiving dinner, the way agriculture is the foundation of Clemson University. What kind of idiot would ever think about discrediting that?

1.) Nursing – That Mystery Dessert:

Pumpkin pie is the token dessert for Thanksgiving, but it isn’t the only sweet treat that grandma brings out when everyone is full. There are always those unique, delicious desserts that make you wonder, “Hey, how did you do this? Where did you learn how to make this?” to which they say, “It’s a secret and telling you that secret would be considered a HIPAA violation.”

Family can be difficult to deal with. But remember, while the components of a family may have their strengths and weaknesses, they are always able to come together to eat themselves into a hypertensive crisis.

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