Sometimes the Clemson Tiger family can be a bit overzealous with their love for the school. But then again, maybe we’re just overzealous enough—so go ahead and commit the seven deadly sins of Clemson! They prove you’re a true tiger.
Pride — for our Clemson Tigers:
When you have the best football team in all the land, it’s only natural that your campus is going to be overrun with pride. We bleed orange and purple. We dream of Clemson football in the wee hours of the night. The hearts of Clemson students, alumni, faculty, and fans alike beat to the Tiger Rag. Hell, we practically worship Death Valley as the glowing, glorious relic that it is! Sin or not, radiant pride for our Clemson Tigers is a non-negotiable.
Envy— of those who reside in Campus View:
Oh, how the green-eyed monster becomes those who don’t live in Campus View apartments. These units are the epitome of luxury in college housing: overlooking Bowman Field and Tillman Hall, they’re nicer than our houses back at home, and they smell like coconuts imported from a tropical Indonesian island. Unable to afford a the price tag equivalent of a second tuition, the majority of us are terribly guilty of envy.
Wrath— towards any USC fan:
At Clemson, one must be very, very careful not to wear too much garnet, for the wrath of a Tiger is never a laughing matter in the face of a Gamecock. Tigers don’t hesitate to unsheathe their fangs and claws and sink them both into a chicken because wrath becomes the Clemson student. Perhaps this is the deadliest sin of all at Clemson—unless you’re a fellow Tiger, of course.
Gluttony — of Litchers:
Everyone knows that Litchers are an ice cold commodity here at Clemson; a bucket of liquor and juice on Thursday night is what gets the average Clemson upperclassman through the week. However, too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. Students often exhibit an inordinate desire to consume more Litchers than one requires, thus resulting in a missed 8 a.m. the next morning or a messy episode on the sidewalk outside of TTT’s. The sin that is gluttony can be found at the bottom of that first Litcher, smiling evilly up at you.
Lust — for K-Boogie:
Perhaps you intensely yearn for his hot bod, or maybe you just crave a conversation with him. Clemson students are lusting for K-Boogie to acknowledge them in some way, shape, or form. Clemson guys and gals alike stand at his feet staring up at him (since he towers over most in height); they lustfully desired to be noticed, grab him a beer, or be the one he takes home.
Sloth — towards making the hike to Fike:
Let’s face it. We are amidst a spring slump and, more so now than ever before, we are all sloth-ing it up instead of going to Fike. Apparently, electing not to endure physical activity is a sin. Well, we at TBS have a few words for the big guy in the sky—Fike is on the other side of the planet!!! Clemson students are no longer Tigers; we are sloths because our gym is in BFE.
Greed — for parking spaces:
Parking is the ultimate struggle here at Clemson. With spaces being so limited, students are often guilty of an all-out brawl in the road over parking spaces. Why, just this morning one of our reporters got the bird and an iced coffee to the windshield for snagging the closest parking spot! TBS is concerned for the greedy state of the student body and urges the administration of this fine university to build a damn parking garage.
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