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The 5 Hells Of Columbia’s UC Renovations That Ruined Everyone’s Lives

If you haven’t heard about Columbia’s UC renovations going on, you’re either living under a rock or deaf from the blaring sound of constant construction and drilling. The UC decided to ruin everyone’s lives by scheduling extremely inconvenient renovations in the middle of the semester (because waiting a month was apparently far too much for them to handle). Anyone who currently lives in or has ever lived in the UC is used to these hells already. 

5.) The sound of construction at 8 a.m.:
This isn’t an exaggeration. Imagine being woken up early as hell by what sounds like a cat being slaughtered with a chainsaw. And it continues. For hours. Someone’s gotta send the audio of it to a music major so they can make a beat out of that shit cause it would 100% bump. But to wake up to it is hell on Earth.

4.) The trash left behind in your dorm:
Because the UC leaves you homeless for about a week, they give you temporary housing that’s basically a shoebox expanded fit to human dimensions and also looks like a prison at the same time. When you walk in, you’re greeted with trash, feces, used syringes and leaves on the ground. Where does it all come from? Who knows. ‘Tis a mystery.

3.) …Rats?:

After moving back into their original housing, some students found toy rats on their desks. Yes, toy rats. They’re not real, so it’s not that big of a deal. But still…who the fuck leaves fake rats lying around? The context of this is so unclear. Weirdos.

2.) That SMELLY smell:
It’s that smelly smell that smells smelly. You know the one. When construction is finished and you finally get to move back into your space, be prepared to get a toxic high off whatever the fuck they use to paint the walls with cause it sure as hell isn’t paint. As soon as you walk off the elevator it hits you and you’ll want to die.

1.) The food scarfed down by construction workers:
These bitches really out here grubbin’ on everybody else’s food. “These bitches,” meaning the weird ass workers doing the renovations. Apparently they give no fucks and they’ll just take snacks out of people’s fridges. Honestly iconic. That’s a level of bravery most never achieve.

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