Columbia freshman Eric Hampton was humiliated this past weekend when he decided to bring his Tinder date back to his dorm, only for the romance to be spoiled by the prolonged check-in process at the Dwight.
“It was going so well up until that point. I thought I for sure I was going to close, but then I remembered how ridiculous the security check-in is,” Hampton complained.
The whole process lasted about 15 painful minutes and required Hampton’s date, Melanie Ferguson, to hand over a government-issued ID, have her photo taken, get her fingerprints scanned, and go through a metal detector.
“It all seemed a little excessive to me,” Ferguson admitted. “But I don’t know, I guess we are in Chicago. Makes sense that they have to take a little extra precautions.”
According to Hampton, the conversation was going “really well” up until the moment they stepped into the dorm.
“As much as I tried to keep up our cute little banter, it was too quiet at the security desk to even try.”
To make matters worse, the already long process was extended when the security guards had to retake Melanie’s photo a couple times.
“Yeah, that really took the cake,” Ferguson said. “They asked me to pose for a photo, but the first one was too dim, and then in the second one they asked me not to smile.”
According to Ferguson, the amount of time the sign-in process took also made her rethink her choice to agree to a date with Hampton in the first place.
“I got a good look at him under those bright-ass fluorescent lights by the security desk…and uh…yeesh.”
By the time the two entered the building, Hampton’s confidence was almost entirely shot.
“I didn’t really know how to turn on the charm again. The whole sign-in deal was so awkward and it really killed the mood.”
Feeling uneasy about having to spend more time with Hampton, Ferguson made a half-assed excuse to go home and the date was soon over.
“God damnit. If it weren’t for that long ass sign-in process, I would’ve for sure gotten a second date,” Hampton complained.
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