Think being a comedy major is hard? Ha ha, what a joke (pun intended)! Try having to exclusively wear light wash jeans for the entirety of your college career. Being a game design major at Columbia takes hard work, dedication to the aesthetic, and a big, smelly, sweaty gaming chair. To find out more about the gamer lifestyle, read this list of things.
5.) Always be greasy:
Like going vegan, being greasy isn’t just some trendy fad. It’s a lifestyle choice. Showers? Yeah right, my dawgie. It’s the unspoken life hack that sauntering through a thick cloud of Axe will do the trick every time. Greasy hair is also essential to the gamer boy “look.” Bonus points if your head looks so wet that people think ink is about to squirt out of it. Now that’s hot.
4.) Always drink gatorade:
You need stamina to keep up with your late-night crazy ass punk rock lifestyle. Staying up hella late working on your latest project and/or playing Roblox requires energy out the wazoo. Science has proven that the buzz from three big ole ‘rades (Gatorades) gives you enough adrenaline to lift a car off the body of a small child. Think you can handle it?
3.) Own nerdy white dad shoes:
No specific shoe is required, but you must stay on brand. Think “90s Danny Tanner on Xanax.” Some examples of the proper footwear include the classic black Vans, white high-top Converse, high-top maroon Doc Martens, plaid print Crocs, and other things of that nature. Also, you can NOT get dirt on them. Christ, it throws the whole look off.
2.) Live stream your man tits on Twitch:
Give women a run for their money by streaming your own titties on the internet – for more money. Hell, do it on Facebook Live! Get your brand out there, and don’t be afraid to just go for it. If you’re a real gaming major, you’d do it. Be apart of the revolution.
1. Spit on the sidewalk…all the time:
When the people around you see you pull out this classic move, nobody can say shit. It’s a symbol that you’re the coolest gamer guy on campus. Also, the overwhelming amount of saliva in the mouth of any game design major means you have to spit all the time avoid choking. You’d think this wouldn’t be a worry since they’re all mouth breathers, but NO.