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Release the Kraken! Student Unloads 4 Months Of Anger On Course Evaluations

As the semester wraps up and everyone gears up for finals, students are completing their course evaluations often carelessly in an attempt to get them done with quickly.

Others, like junior Nick Armstead, uses the end of the semester to unload four months of passive aggression and anger on course evaluations. 

“I have been waiting all semester for an opportunity to bag on this one shitty professor, so you already know I went to town,” Armstead explained. 

Armstead’s chief complaint was about his Writing & Rhetoric II professor, who he claims to be a “heartless bitch” who is “out to get him.”

“She hated me from day one,” Armstead grumbled. “She was super harsh on all my papers because I didn’t bother to put them in MLA format. And when I missed three weeks of class straight, she didn’t even explain to me what I missed. Such a fucking bitch.”

When asked why Armstead didn’t complain directly to the instructor when he was having a problem, he became incredibly defensive, citing a number of  excuses.

“Well, like, I had stuff going on,” Armstead said. “Plus, she made herself very unapproachable. Also, I lost the syllabus, so how was I supposed to know what her office hours were?”

On the other hand, there were many students who were feeling too lazy to fill out course evaluations and had teachers begging them to complete the short surveys.

“Many students don’t realize that we take the feedback very seriously,” an anonymous staff member commented. “That’s why it baffles me how some students will complain relentlessly, yet neglect to complete evaluations.” 

“It’s just so much time and effort that I don’t have. I prefer to bitch and moan to my friends—that’s much more fun and takes way less energy,” Armstead’s classmate, junior Jill Bayer, noted.

Other students explained that their approach to evaluations is a little different, with some getting charged up to complain about some of their worse instructors, only to chicken out when they’re actually filling out questions.

“I end up wimping out,” said senior Alexis Newton. “I figure that most of these professors probably have it bad enough, so I try to give a somewhat decent review. The worst I do is say that they’re ‘mediocre.’ Oh, but I’ll fuck up a Rate My Professor review. I have no problem talking shit on there.” 

When reached, Armstead’s professor, Tak Jansen, explained that she would have been happy to help Nick if he had just asked.

“Oh, I think Nick has a lot of potential,” Jansen said. “I didn’t realize he was struggling so much. He should’ve sent me an email, I would’ve followed up as soon as I could.” 

Even with this information, Armstead still resisted the idea of approaching his instructor directly.

“Still, I’d much rather wait and let it all build up in my head,” Armstead said. “That way I’ll be super fired up by the time the evaluations open. Then that bitch will know just how much hell she put me through this semester.” 

When told that course evaluations were entirely anonymous, and thus his professor wouldn’t have any way of knowing the criticism came directly from him, Armstead replied, “Oh. Fuck.” 

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