Cornell University is one of the hardest schools in the country. It’s hard to get into, there’s grade deflation, Okenshield’s is the only dining hall on central campus that takes meal swipes. But none of that compares to the pain of having to walk up Libe Slope. Here are some tips on how to survive the journey.
6.) Pack your backpack lighter than a ghost:
The most important rule in preparing to climb Libe Slope is to make sure that you don’t have any useless materials inside of your backpack that add weight and pain. Get rid of those extra notebooks that only have four pages of actual notes inside. Get rid of that two-pound lab notebook. Stop bringing your laptop to class. In the long run, it will be easier to re-buy these daily at The Cornell Store than hiking twenty pounds of crap up Libe Slope.
5.) Imagine you are getting chased up the hill by IT the clown:
You will fly up the hill if you imagine a maniac of a clown is chasing you. Just use that adrenaline to push yourself and watch others glance at you in amazement as you sprint up the nearly ninety-degree angle. Just don’t tell them that a clown is chasing you because that may land you a trip to Cornell Health.
4.) Exercise regularly:
Honestly, you could be an Olympic champion and you won’t be able to walk up Libe Slope without huffing and wheezing. But still…you can pretend that the fact isn’t true and hit the gym twice a day. Maybe you’ll make it up with minimal crying and that would impress the special someone you have your eye on.
3.) Wake up early to mentally prepare:
The early bird catches the worm, right? Well waking up two hours earlier than you want to and envisioning yourself floating up the slope will reduce your struggle and strife. Read powerful poems, do yoga, whatever insane strategy gets you in the right mindset to conquer this beast.
2.) Write a strongly worded letter to Cornell’s president asking for a chairlift:
This is a construction project that is long overdue, and it’s not like Cornell can’t afford it. Just start a letter writing campaign demanding that a chairlift be built in order to get your body from point A to point B without having to pay your good American dollars for a bus pass.
1.) Buy a bus pass:
Or just cave in and buy a bus pass. Seriously. It’s not worth it to walk up Libe Slope every day. It’s never going to get easier, that’s a lie. Just pay the one-hundred-and-something dollars to get taken up the slope in a matter of minutes. Save your time, save your legs.
No matter your situation, you will one day be forced to walk up Libe Slope. We hope these tips are useful because although crying on your hike up Libe Slope is a part of the Cornell experience, it doesn’t mean there aren’t steps to making the climb a little easier.