Widely regarded as the most physically attractive school in the Ivy League (lol not really, can you imagine?) But anyway here are the sexiest people to attend The Big Red:
7.) Toni Morrison:
This Nobel Prize-winning lady is Beloved on our campus.
6.) Mario García Menocal:
Class of 1888, our main man Mario was THE PRESIDENT OF CUBA! Talk about Havana Nights.
5.) Mae C. Jemison:
Okay, so not only does she have beautiful eyes and flawless skin, she is an astronaut and a physician, and a dancer (think flexible zero gravity sex).
4.) Kurt Vonnegut:
If a collection of dark, satirical, postmodern novels don’t tickle your loins already, he has the perfect face for a ~handlebar ride~.
3.) Ruth Bader Ginsburg:
All Hail Notorious R.B.G. Even if you don’t agree with her politics, you have to admit that she is a tiny ball of sass. Here at Cornell, her nickname was “Kiki” so… you know she slayed the slope.
2.) Christopher Reeve:
Cornell’s very own Superman, 6’4” Adonis, sexy dropout. Sometimes we forget he attended but, he did. Sadly, he passed in 2004 #pouroneout
1.) Bill Nye The Science Guy:
Because duh. What a fucking hunk.
The Least Sexy Cornell Alum:
Not only did she write a book called In Trump We Trust, she looks like a cartoon witch with an eating disorder. In the immortal words of Pete Davidson to Ann at Rob Lowe’s roast, “If you are here, Ann, who is scaring the crows away from our crops?”
Oh hey, listen and subscribe to Talk of Shame: