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People You Don’t Want to See Together at 3 A.M. on Cornell Snap Maps

Snap Maps are fun, super fun. Although you may go into ghost mode faster than Danny Phantom, there are some people who are actually comfortable allowing everyone to know where they live and where they spend eighty-percent of their day. Sometimes there are some Bitmoji combinations out there you just can’t unsee, so here is a comprehensive list of people you would definitely not want to see together at 3 a.m. on Cornell Snap Maps.

5.) All your best friends in Collegetown: It would be heartbreaking to see your best friends out in Collegetown without you having a good ol’ time. Not that it would have been nice to be invited or whatever. Just stare sadly at the icons on your blue screen as all your buddies live and enjoy life without you. For some extra salt in the wound check their Snapchat stories to see that they were too busy laughing it up in CTB to remember to send a timely invite.

4.) The people you sit next to in lab outside of Mann Library:Imagine your shock to open Snapchat, do a little light stalking on Snap Map and find out that all the people you sit next to in lab are busy getting ahead on the work that you haven’t even started. Oh, the pain of knowing that you are going to be, again, below average on the next prelim. Get revenge by hacking into Blackboard and changing the prelim date so that it looks like it is later than it really is. We’ll see who is prepared now.  

3.) Touchdown the Bear and Keggy the Keg:A truly terrible moment at Cornell would be if Touchdown and Keggy where getting “lit af” in the early morning hours. Not only would it be incredibly confusing to see a bear and a keg running down College Ave, but it would be the biggest betrayal to the Cornell community since Touchdown could do way better than Keggy for an acquaintance. Though it would be unusual, it’s understandable Keggy wanted to get out of Hanover faster than you could say “Dartmouth sucks.”

2.) ILR students with AEM students:
If you were to see that the ILR students ganged up with the AEM students at 3 a.m. then you could only assume that the corporate version of fight club is about to go down. Watch the little icons in awe as they dance around the screen to show what’s going down. It isn’t hard to imagine the ILR students throwing picket signs as the AEM students call their lawyers.

1.) Your failed prelims at your house:Now although prelims are not people and do not have a Snapchat, you can be certain that they will haunt you enough to appear on your Snap Map. Even though you wanted to spend the night quietly stalking your crush, you can’t help but imagine little paper icons with your grade that was two standard deviations below the average. Cry as you realize that it is merely your conscious telling you that you need to study more or continue to be haunted by bad grades.

Not only can Snap Maps be used by the government to track your every move, but there are many different people (or things) that you don’t want to see together at 3 a.m. Whether it would break your heart, haunt you, or confuse you, for the sake of us all, we can only hope they choose ghost mode.


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