You planned this meeting over two weeks in advance, and finding a time that worked for every roommate was fucking ridiculous. Now you’re finally at the showing, but things are about to get weird. The Black Sheep has compiled a list of 7 awkward things that will happen when you look for houses on the Hill.
7.) The Realtor Doesn’t Have the Keys:
The realtor had one job, and they just blew it. They give you a passive aggressive BPM or Fourstar answer that somehow blames you for the whole thing, and explain why this key will eventually come out of your deposit. Damnit.
6.) You kinda break into the house:
Should your realtor forget the key, they might try aggressively knocking on the door for a while, before mustering up the courage to start twisting the handle. A few aggressive shoves later, and the door swings open. Great. While the realtor says, “Hello???” and starts explaining why the stoves don’t work right now, you get to walk awkwardly into a home invasion.
5.) The people at home aren’t completely dressed:
The person who was going to answer the door emerges behind the bathroom door, wearing a towel. They are surprised. The realtor tries to act normal, but this is a far from normal situation. Another roommate dressed in his boxers pops out of his room to get something. He is hairy. Everyone is quietly standing still.
4.) Weird personal items:
Stepping carefully over old condom wrappers, two bongs, and underwear, you try and decide which room would be your favorite. Awkward features such as the dildo on the dresser, or the old food covered with fruit flies, are things you try to forget when deciding where to put your bed. If one of the roommates is in their room, you do everything possible not to make eye contact. They know.
3.) Tennant Confronts Agent About Things Not Working:
While the house is in a totally prime location, nothing is working. The student will start showing everyone how fucked the stove is, or how their sink still won’t drain right. Awkward tension ensues as the realtor furiously thinks of ways to silence this person, usually with things like “sorry” and “I’ll make sure the person in charge knows about this” and “sorry!”
2.) Not Everyone is Cool With The Huge Rent Price:
Chances of at least one friend not being a wealthy kid from California are pretty high. As the realtor tries to justify why rent just went up, the kid with only regularly-wealthy parents tries to free up an extra 50 dollars per month. Everybody else tries to see how much lower their parents can make rent for the broom closet they have agreed to let them live in. Nobody is happy, and everyone is still kind of loitering with the strangers who currently live there.
1.) The Weed Growing Operation is Discovered:
Since growing weed is legal now, many kids at CU have tried to cut back on the bills by cultivating a few plants. Most realty companies do not like this. An awkward eviction debate between the agent and tenants will begin, as you mentally debate how to broach the subject of asking to buy some for later.
The Hill is a great place to live, and every CU student should experience living up there before graduating. Sure, the rent may be huge, rooms small, and appliances shitty, but the memories are worth every penny. And let’s be real here, you need to remember at least something from college.