With winter in full swing, you may be thinking about heading up to the mountains and learning how to ski for the first time! Seems like a magical, snowy wonderland up there, right?! Wrong. Here are nine reasons you shouldn’t even THINK about heading to the mountains this winter.
9.) There’s Yeti/Bigfoot:
You have no idea what goes on up in them there mountains! What if Bigfoot or a yeti is up there? You don’t want to end up trapped in a Wampa cave, especially when you can’t use the force!
8.) You don’t even know how to drive in the snow:
We see your California license plate and your North Face sweater, you’re not fooling anyone, sorority sistah.
7.) The mountains aren’t really that great:
You’ve seen one mountain, you’ve seen them all, right? Who needs to see the great Rocky Mountains, when you can Netflix and Chill, or whatever the kids are doing nowadays.
6.) All the Traffic:
And you’re just adding to it! Seriously, I’m from Massachusetts. It should take half the time it does to get up to the mountains in Summit County, so stay off the road and out of my way.
5.) I-70 will probably close:
This happens all the time! What are you gonna do if you get stuck up in the mountains late Sunday night, and freezing to death in your car without any weed?
4.) You’ve never even learned to ski before:
What, you’re seriously going to spend all the money on gear and a lesson? Beware of letting your friend or significant other be your ‘coach’, because they will get fed up with you, I promise. Then, when that relationship ends and you’re stuck on the middle of the trail, you’ll really wish you didn’t make the trip that day.
3.) There’s so many crowds!:
So many people are already there! Do you really want to add to that mess? I bet you’ll probably get ran into by some crazy snowboarder. But more likely, you’ll run into someone, you gaper!
2.) It’s cold!:
Don’t you know how cold it can get up there?! Boulder’s like an oasis with these 50 degree days in December, but you won’t get this weather up at 10,000 feet!
1.) There’s a wall of snow blocking your way:
Believe us, you can’t even get to the mountains right now. Don’t bother checking, just trust what we’re saying is true. There’s a huge wall of snow blocking I-70, and we promise there’s no way up there. So don’t even bother trying, and get back to studying.