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The 7 Craziest CU Headlines From the Last 5 Years

It’s no secret that Boulder is home to the weird, odd, and downright freaky. One just needs to take a stroll down Pearl to see all the “culture” Boulder has to offer. CU is no exception. However, in the last few years, some pretty fucked up stuff has happened at the beloved university. Beautiful and fun as it may be, this shit still happened.

7.) Machete Man:
Most of you will clearly remember this one since it just happened. In October of 2016, A marine who recently returned from combat was shot to death by officers after he was found harassing a woman outside of the Champions Center with a machete. The man was apparently “looking for sinners.” Looks like that turned out well.

6.) Alert System Screw-Up:
Remember later in the day after the guy with the machete was shot when there were reports of an “active harmer” on campus? And then you all got text messages from the CU Alert System that basically said, “No biggie. There may or may not be a shooter somewhere around campus, but just avoid the UMC and you should be a-okay.” Yeah. That was pretty messed up.

5.) Poison Pot:
In 2012, two CU students gave pot brownies to unsuspecting classmates and their professor, which made everyone sick and even sent three people to the hospital. Apparently the whole thing was planned because they thought it would be funny. It wasn’t very funny.

4.) Sterling Peaks of Shit:
Right before Fall classes started in 2016, a bunch of students got kicked out of their apartments because of safety issues. A well known apartment building by the name of Sterling Peaks was shut down after the building owners decided they wanted more money from cash-strapped students and split two bedroom apartments into four bedrooms. Even after the apartments were modified back into two bedrooms by the city, there was no change in rent, which was apparently fair for some reason?

3.) Pepperoni Payback:
In April of 2016, it was discovered that two of the newly elected three CU Student Government presidents bribed their constituency with pizza. Yes, pizza. Apparently, feeding students circular foods like pizza, cake and cookies in exchange for their vote is against school rules, so the two were booted from office. Their positions were restored after a “trial” held by some sort of ethics committee, but their records will forever be marred from the time they tried to exchange munchies for votes.

2.) Milo Yian-NOPE-oulos:
You should all remember this one. The chancellor decided to ignore his own supposedly anti-discriminatory values (which he has recently tried to make clear that he does have via emails) and okay the appearance of this guy on campus. Anger ensued. Flags were burned. Hate speech was spoken. It was kinda fucked up in all sorts of ways.

1.) The 100 Year Flood:

Back in 2013, it rained a lot. We mean, A LOT. So much that the creek overflowed and basically half the state flooded, but mostly the Boulder area. Classes had to be cancelled because there was so much water that people were literally being swept off their feet on the way to math class. Many students saw a bright side and treated it like a snow day (like the folks who played tackle football in the mud). However, most of the businesses on Pearl Street, some on the Hill, some dorms and basically all the graduate housing on Folsom had to be closed for repairs. Which was not as fun.

This list is not an exhaustive list of all the fucked up things in Boulder. That would take too long to write. But it’s enough for some of you out there to remember the bad times and perhaps feel lucky that 2017 hasn’t been a terrible year for CU…so far.

WATCH: This is the most garbage of memes, hate it before it happens,



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