The addition of a new, C4C-sized dining hall in Williams Village at the beginning of this semester was long awaited by the poor, displaced residents of Will Vill. The new dining center boasted five new dining stations, a smoothie machine where you have to ride a bike to work the blender, a waffle machine, and much more. Students were ecstatic when it first went up, but did it live up to the hype?
“That place is so huge getting food is like a scavenger hunt. All I eat is gyros and Lucky Charms, but at least they have Lucky Charms and not those pathetic “Marshmallow Mateys” that the C4C has.”
“I miss my pasta and my mashed potatoes. The fact that they have breakfast all day is great because it’s so college, and the cucumber water makes it all worthwhile. Every time I drink it I feel like the shithole that is Will Vill is actually a spa.”
“I’m just glad I don’t have to take the bus to the C4C anymore, it was dehumanizing.”
“The breakfast station is trash. No one needs all day breakfast, it’s overkill, and it’s disgusting. The eggs are slightly better than the C4C, but still suspiciously rubbery. And the potatoes taste like cardboard.”
“I think the fact that my friends and I call it the C5C says a lot. Regardless, it’s severely understaffed, in the 3 weeks it’s been open I’ve never been able to get a fucking smoothie and that’s all I want. Not to mention the smoothie bike broke literally the first day and they haven’t fixed it. IT’S A FUCKING BICYCLE. How hard can it be to fix the damn thing?”
“Having the new dining hall made them get rid of all the good stuff at the Village Market, which has been completely neglected since and never has food anymore. I miss my turkey and provolone sandwiches. If you can’t keep both running, where is our tuition money really going?”
“They switch the food so much here. The only constants are tacos and spaghetti. My Italian levels are at an all-time low. But then again, the pasta at the C4C tasted like stale air so I guess I’m not missing anything.”
“The really nice views distract you from the only slightly better food.”
“At least it doesn’t give me diarrhea as bad as the C4C did.”
Well, we guess all of the freshmen living on main campus aren’t missing out on much… At least until the smoothie bike finally gets fixed. Until then, looks like the university just wasted a cool couple million to upgrade the C4C for #classic #millenials who don’t appreciate anything.
The only shirt you need on Powder Day: