It’s the end of the semester and that means that everyone’s life is a dumpster fire right now. You’re failing 5 classes even though you’re only enrolled in 4, your parents hate you because you’re going to amount to nothing, your girlfriend is fucking some dude from her biology class, and you ran out money to buy weed and Adderall. Finals week is hard on everyone, so we’ve gone ahead and compiled a list of the 6 best places to go to have a nice cry this week.
For added effect, we’d like to request that you play “Angel” by Sarah McLachlan in a separate tab while reading this article.
6.) Club Morris:
The library is home base during finals week. You’re going to be here a lot, so you’re going to need to find a spot to let some stress tears out. The good thing is nobody uses books anymore because it’s 2017 and we have the internet. Between two bookshelves in Club Morris is the ideal spot to cry.
Drunk crying is almost always a good option. Grotto’s is a great place to let some tears out this week, because everyone knows you need a few cold ones after you’ve been studying for 17 straight hours for a final that you’re almost certain to fail no matter how much you prepare for it.
4.) The Pomeroy Trail underpass:
This place is so terrifying that you’re almost guaranteed to cry when you walk through it anyway. I wouldn’t recommend going alone for obvious reasons, but we’re pretty sure no one walks through this trail anymore anyway, so you’ll have a nice quiet place to let some tears out.
3.) An empty classroom:
This is just the pinnacle of sadness. Really not much to say here. There’s nothing sadder than a college student sitting in the middle of an empty classroom, contemplating dropping out, maybe moving to the Caribbean and working on a cruise ship because you just failed that final and are going nowhere on this continent.
2.) Delaware Stadium:
Some have called Delaware Stadium the hub of sadness. You cry here anytime you come because the teams that play inside of Delaware Stadium are usually losing. It’s a hike, which is probably why no one shows up, but it’s pretty much always empty, even when games are being played there.
1.) Under the giant book statue:
Such a stupid fucking statue. It’s just taking up space in the middle of campus. But, on the bright side it provides a nice cozy place to sit and cry, right next to all of the class buildings that you’re going to fail your finals in.
Next time you’re feeling a breakdown, try one of these 6 convenient crying locations around campus. But, remember even though your life is falling apart and you’re going to disappoint anyone who’s ever believed in you, you’re not alone.