Bartender of The Week: Stone Balloon’s Aaron

Name: Aaron Smith
Twitter Handle: “I’m handle-less.”
Bar: The Stone Balloon
Relationship Status: Taken
Major: Scientific Glass Technology
Favorite Drink: Lagavulin Neat
Favorite Shot: Jameson
Disgusting Drink: A Virgin Bloody Mary

If someone rolls into The Stone Balloon after bombing an exam, what are you serving them?:
“I’d get them a shot and then go from there to ease the pain right away.”

What part of The Stone Balloon would MOST fail a black light test?:
“We’re a pretty clean bar, but probably the bathroom or the keg box- Shout out to my boy Antonio.”

How do cat people and dog people drink differently?:
“If I had to guess, dog people would be more laid back and vibrant when they drink, cat people would be more reserved.”

Which modern slang word will age worst? Why?:
“Probably ‘that jawn,’ because no one knows what it means.”

You have to spend a day with Ronald McDonald, what’s the highlight? The lowlight?:
“The highlight would be getting to meet the Cheeseburgaler, the lowlight would be hanging out with a scary clown.”

Fuck/Mary/Kill: Kathy Griffin, Peter Griffin, Eddie Griffin:
“F- Kathy, Marry Peter because it’ll always be a goof time, kill Eddie.”

Tell us your favorite joke:
“Why do girls parallel park so close to the curb? Because for years they have been lied to about what 6 inches really is!”

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever found in your pants?:
“A tobacco pipe that went through the wash and made all of my laundry smell bad.”

Why should people read The Black Sheep?
“‘Cause it’s amazing!”

Who really even cares about Homecoming?