Connect with us
Connect with us


Entire UD Football Team Goes Home for Homecoming; No One Notices

The UD football team took a literal approach to homecoming this year, and decided to return to their respective homes for the iconic game weekend. The decision was reportedly motivated by feelings of under appreciation among the Division-I (AA) athletes, who felt under glorified by the student body at the University of Delaware.

“When I was in high school, everyone loved me because I was kickass at football,” says freshman wide receiver. “Now, people don’t even know who I am. They don’t even know that I’m cool.”

UD athletics are notoriously overlooked on campus. While athletics are the pride and joy of many colleges, Delaware athletics are far from the center of attention. Games are sparsely attended, with major games such as the first home game of the season, homecoming, and games against rivals such as Del State bringing in only a sprinkling of students. Statistics show that of the students in attendance, upwards of 80% are too intoxicated to understand how football works or who is winning.

“I love football, but I don’t have any interest in football when it’s affiliated with my school.” Says UD sophomore Jessica Adley. “I don’t even know anyone on the team besides Joe Flacco.”

The record of the UD football team shows that this lack of support translates onto the field.

“When you’re playing for a bird and its mini bird friend and like, your mom, it’s hard to try your best,” said UD’s defensive back. “It’s just starting to seem like the only good thing about playing football is getting a stupid free education.”

The team reportedly made the group decision to go home for their homecoming game after a prompt from their opponents, the University of Richmond Spiders. The teams reportedly had a tense interaction before the game during which words were exchanged.

“One of the guys from Richmond was like, ‘You guys don’t stand a chance, nobody loves you!’ and we were like, ‘You know what, that’s probably right.’ So we went home where we know at least a few kids from high school that stayed home for college that still love us,” recounts Page.

A survey conducted including all students at the University of Delaware reveled that 100% of students who had not attended the game were ignorant to the fact that no homecoming game had occurred.

Students who did attend the game reportedly had a lovely time. University freshman Tyler Reese tells The Black Sheep, “I was having the time of my life. I was totally wasted, and this girl from my floor that I went with sat right next to me which just confirms that she totally wants me. She talked to me for like at least some of the time that we were there. This is going somewhere, I’m positive.”

When asked what the score of the game was, Reese replied that he thinks that UD won by 7.

The UD football team reportedly had a great time with their evening as well. When asked if they regretted their decision to go home, the team replied with a collective and vehement, “No.”

“I really don’t think this could have gone any better actually,” says senior and team captain Holmes. “We might actually make this a permanent thing. We think this is just what works best for everyone.”

Continue Reading

More from Delaware

To Top