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Find Out What Kirkbride Jesus, Your Hot Freshman Year Math TA, and YouDee Have To Say




The fall semester is coming to an end and spring semester is almost upon us. Have you ever stopped to think what some other people here on campus are looking forward to the most next semester? Well, keep on reading to find out what some of your favorite voices on campus have to share about next semester!




“I’m not really looking forward to the winter. Not a lot of girls wearing little to no clothing, ya know? It’s like, bittersweet because I don’t have much to get off to later but also now they’ve all listened to my sermons obviously and are wearing their winter coats to respect Jesus.”

–       Kirkbride Jesus, on the cold weather





“I graduated last Spring, I’m not really sure I can give you much input on this. Also, how did you find my apartment? I don’t even live in Newark anymore…”

–       Your Hot Freshman Year Math TA, on personal security




“Please fucking help me, please get me out of here. No one has talked to me personally like this in so long so I need to tell you this right now, they haven’t let me take off this fucking costume in five years and I don’t think I will ever see the end of it. If you share this post enough and get enough people to read it then maybe they’ll let me out right? Please help me I’ve been shitting myself in this fucking thing for too long now I don’t remember what life was like without this 20-pound cock head on me I need your help please spread the word so maybe they’ll finally let me out! I need this I haven’t seen my parents since 2010 because of this fucking costume and this fucking school please send help!”

–                YouDee, on hopes for the future



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